Today is my 6 to 7 th days since I started to take the anti-fungal, candidas cleansing kit, but so far so good, nothing too violent in terms of the dying off reaction.

Somedays I experienced more brain fog, fatigue, or gas problems more than the other days, and that was it. The white plague is still on my tongue, which means the yeast overgrowth is still a problem. The yeast is supposed to be gone after 15 days, so I will see what happens.

My craving for carbohydrates decreased to a very comfortable level. I don’t feel the urges at all. My appetites for foods also decreased in general. I have 2 children legs a day on average, plus the green juice, and that was it.

I feel there is a greater ability in me to surpress distractions, and focus on what I want to do. I have a greater motivation to make money, and more positive emotions to enjoy the process, whereas before I often worried or felt depressed about many things related to work. Overall, I make a lot more money since the diet started.

When you get healthy, especially in the brain, work becomes so much more enjoyable. My social life becomes more natural and smooth too. I have more energy and spontaneity to deal with people. I feel more ready to deal with social challenges. In fact, social life is no longer a challenge, but it became something that stimulates positive emotions.

I went out to evangelize to people more often. Time doesn’t feel half as long as it used to when my diet improved. I didn’t have to push myself through the process. I still had to take time to summon courage and what not before reaching out to a stranger, but the entire process seems much easier comparing to before. It may have to do with past experiences and training, but I think the diet definitely had a lot to do with the recent boost in street evangelism performance. I just feel more relaxed. The depression and anxiety aren’t bothering me as much as before, and I am more able to focus on the moment.

However, sometimes I am still forgetful and experiencing “brain glitch”, such as miscalculate very simple math, zone out while doing important things (such as driving), or misplace appointment on my calendar.

The good thing is, these glitches are occuring less often these days, and I can work longer hours.

The future is looking good. But I couldn’t help but wish that I started having this understanding about diet and doing it much earlier.

Today I feel no craving for sugar in any shape or form. I was busy so I only drank one cup of the green juice for breakfast, and that was it, but the entire day I wasn’t hungry at all.

I think that soon I might be able to fast for an entire day with just water and don’t feel a thing. I will wait until all the yeast overgrowth is gone before I do that though, and it will take approximately 12 more days to accomplish that, according to the candidas cleansing kit manual.

I was not dying to buy my beloved duran fruit as I usually did during a  time like this (abstained from sugar for a while). I felt more alert, even though the scattered brain-ness was still there. It was a feeling of clean and clear.

More Social and Money Making Activities

Socially, I have been able to ask friends out more. I have more desires to meet people. It is just automatic. The moment I sensed that I needed to meet new people, get their contact, or ask someone out, I just did it. There was no lethargy or lack of motivation that stood in the way. I have more tutoring works than ever, and I have been able to juggling the schedule really well.

I have much less anxiety and depression, which helped me handle more money-making activities such as tutoring. I no longer get deterred by anxious thought. I have more energy to advertise myself and get new clients.

Creative and Intuitive

Last Friday, I did an impromtu stand up comedy before a weed smoking crowd, a tough room they said, but by God’s grace I was able to make many people laugh. I believe that the diet helped too, because everytime I got hungry for a day or two I often became more creative.

I feel that my ability to connect useful ideas and people together improved. I am able to intuitively grasp the situations, quickly come up with things that I have learned in the past that are relevant for the situations, and put them together in a productive way. I am able to tell who are the right people to get help from when I want to do something. They would just show up in my mind. Or, when I meet some talented people, I am able to come up with good project ideas that we can work on together.

For example, I have been working as a part time janitor lately, and during the diet I suddenly had this sense of certainty that I HAD to talk to my manager about starting my own cleaning company. I did and he was very eager to help. Just like that and I will probably create my own janitor job so I can earn more and have more stable hours. I will see how it goes.

Excited about the Future Result!

I had similar improvements in the said areas five years ago when I did fasting more often, and these improvements lasted long enough for me to achieve some great things that I was never able to achieve before. However, the yeast (candidas) was already there even back then. What level of mental and spiritual potential will I uncover if the yeast is finally gone? I am excited to know.

I have made a lot of mistakes. I ate too much “disguised” carbohydrate. Like I said earlier, the candidas can trick your mind into eating things that don’t look sugary, such as potatoes, but are in fact candidas beloved foods. Sometimes I eat out and they always have some carbohydrate foods, such as rice, potatoes, bread, and even dumpling skins!

I didn’t recognize the dumpling skin as a candidas food until today! It was made of flour. Any powdery or starchy foods can turn into sugars very quickly when digested, so they do fuel the candidas.

Now I know eating even just a little bit of these wrong foods here and there is enough for the yeast colony to survive.

I should have stuck with just protein and the green juice (which is VERY delicious, after using the Vitamx. I am quite sure that fruits won’t feed the yeast, so its okay to have fruit juices.

At the beginning of this diet, I thought the battle won’t be so hard, because I am still eating, instead of going cold turkey such as a water fast, and the fruits should help me curb the craving for bad carbohydrate, but I was wrong. The craving was still very strong, even though I ate fruits.

I would feel tired sometimes when I shouldn’t be for someone my age. My sleep pattern is irregular, and when I am off any carbohydrates or starchy foods that the yeast loves, I would feel the craving and fatigues. I would feel so tired that I need to get a sugar fix!

I have always been like that, but during this diet it became so much more obvious. I now can tell where the voice that told me to get sugar or disguised sugar (“go eat some shrimp dumpling it wont hurt”) was from.

Comparing with what other people are experiencing during their candidas die-off, I have a much easier time, but still it is hard somehow. Or maybe the die-off is yet to happen because I wasn’t doing this diet 100% right?

I slept well the first few days, but one day (day 11) I went out with a friend and drank a cup of milk tea (dairy is bad for yeast), and the following nights I wasn’t sleeping well. It wasn’t insomina, but the sleep quality was bad. It was a restless sleep. And I won’t go to bed that night until early morning, doing unproductive things like browsing the Internet. My mind went blank quite a lot during wakeful hours, and I had frequent fatigues. When I am like that, I am not very motivated and productive in general.

So from now on I have to stop eating carbohydrates! I can foresee that tangible fatigues in the days ahead—it would be so tangible that I can feel that something within me is gone. It’s like a ball of energy jumping out of me. I feel it at times and I am sure that if I continue to starve the candidas, I would feel that way more often.

One of the symptoms of my yeast-caused ADD is underarousal. I often feel bored and unmotivated. This symptom would probably become much more obvious during the yeast starvation in the days ahead.

So I Bought CandiGONE—Candidas Cleasning Kit

I mentioned in day 3-6 that I decided not to buy the kit, but today I think that it is way too hard to just starve the candidas to death. It would be better for me to suffer a quicker die-off than a slower one, because the candidas will fight for their life every step of the way. It can be an ugly battle, so at least I can make it a short one.

I don’t want to take one step forward, and then a few steps backward, by “accidentally” eating a candidas food like I have done so many times during this diet.

I will do a review on this product after the cleanse. I read the user reviews on amazon for this kit and they are great.

Vitamix is Fabulous

My mom bought the vitamix. At first I thought it was a waste of money. We already had the Osterizer blender. However, when I used it to blend my green juice, the result is fantastic. The mix is perflectly grinded into a powdery soup. All the ingredients are perfectly mixed together in their finiest form. I don’t know it can taste better when they are perflectly mixed. I thought they would be all the same once they enter the stomach, but I was wrong. The texture of the juice is creamy. It made a noticable difference.

The Poops

I have been pooping more often than before, because of the green juice(more like soup). Today, I see some nasty things coming out with latest poop. I am happy to see that so many toxin looking stuff came out. Maybe it means the diet is working. If you are a sufferer of candidias, you may experience constipation often. I pooped at least once a day on average (only occasionally more than once), but now I poop at least 3 times when I remember to drink the green mix that day.

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Will I face a worst candidas die-off? The hardest things that the candidas caused for me are depression, boredom, and fatigues. If I am bored, I often can’t help but seek excitement by doing things that I don’t want to do. The fatigues are bad because I couldn’t do anything, and it feels painful and guilty to not do anything. It is very tempting for me to seek that sugar fix and other stimulations when I am extremely underaroused.

I didn’t pray as often as I would like during this diet. Perphaps I was more distracted than ever, and that maybe due to the die-off.

The very nature of the die-off symptoms make it hard for the sufferers to persist beyond the die-off. It is easy to give up when the yeast fight back so hard. But I will carry on.

The yeast really took over my brain, and it began a long time ago. It was a mental prison but for the longest time I didn’t even know it was there.

The strange thing is that it would make me crave some foods, but it also makes me forget they are sugary. How devious! It’s like they actually have a mind of their own. For example, in the last 3 days I had eaten fries, which fed the yeast as french fries are potatoes, and potatoes turn into sugar very fast once we consume it. The moment they are starved, they will plant in your head the images of foods they want you to consume.

Today I even walked into the beer store! Was it a coincidence? I normally don’t drink at all. I was just waiting for a bus and felt bored so decided to go inside the beer store to hang out for just a little. Beers are products of yeast. It can fuel the candidas. The yeast in my system knew what it was doing for sure, when it tried to urge me to drink beer.

I am still drinking the green juice and eating quality protein such as fishes, beef, and chicken. I still try to avoid sugar as much as possible.

Maybe it was those fries that have been keeping the candidas alive to this day! D’oh!

More Self-realization

It suddenly came to my mind how many good ideas I had and relatively little I was able to carry them out. I had so many good ideas, but I couldn’t handle a brief period of boredom while carring out my plans.

Each day I spent so much time seeking intellectual and emotional stimulation. I don’t know if it is good or bad yet. Maybe one day the things that I was compelled to do due to this symptom will turn out to be extremely useful. For now, I want to be able to act upon my knowledge and ideas more, a lot more.

The focus it takes to carry out ideas is easy for many people, but not for someone like me, who has ADD (aka sluggish cognitive tempo).

It’s natural for most people to think of something they need to do and then get up to do it. Yes, most people are procrastinators, but not because of biological reasons like ADD, so it is easier for them already, comparing with those of us who have problem focusing due to biological reasons.

This is why I need to do this diet.

Most people might lead a boring life because they do can focus on mandane tasks on a daily and consistent basis. They don’t have to do exciting things to help them focus. At the end, they get complacent and stay there.

I believe that if they do have the ability, then they should strike to achieve more.

I have been imagining the day when I finally have the best of both world—the urge to do exciting things and the focus I need to complete them.

I also remembered how much I had to put up with due to this yeast-based-ADD (it was an educated guess for me to assume my ADD was caused by yeast), such as how teachers treated me like a disgraced criminals because of my behavioral problems. I spent years being punished and conditioned by authority figures instead of actually learning or achieving anything.

Supplement and Exercise

I have been doing some fitness walking. It’s mostly self-taught. I heard that it was the best form of exercise for most people. Under the cold winter weather of Toronto, I am still able to get sweaty. It’s good for detoxing. You don’t have to buy extra gear and what not. You just walk outside and walk as fast as you can for as long as you can. Soon your legs will feel strained and get all sweaty.

A supplement that I want to highlight is coconut oil. I took a teaspoon of it everyday. It’s good for fighting candidas. It also speeds out metabolism and increase energy.

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According to a study, 70% of Americans have candidiasis. It is serious guys. Although it can’t kill you right away, it dramatically lower your living standard, by keeping you fat, unmotivated, depressed, and other symptoms. Each day it takes away some productivity, energy, and joy from you. It’s gradual, so most people don’t notice the difference.

It took me a long time before I finally confront this problem. It’s not enough to just do a little bit here and there. Supplements aren’t enough. Eating healthy 70% of the times isn’t enough. Short periods of fast isn’t enough. You really need to go all out against it for at least 2 weeks before you can get rid of it.

If you win, you will become a totally different person. You will have a new influx of energy, time, and motivation you might get overwhelmed. I had but a short period of time when I experienced something close to that state of high performance, and it was a very sweet experience. I am going to there again. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. What about you? Are you going there with me?

Of course, as it would take at least 2 weeks.

Do the test I mentioned in the last post, I bet many of you will find out you also have a yeast problem as well. It is worth the effort to eliminate this problem, as the benefits are many. You will live a much easier life without it.

I still have craving for sugar and diary, but I continue to consume almond milk, raw honey, green juice, and protein, instead of what the yeast wanted me to consume.

On day 4 I went to the health store and the staff (a homeopath) recommended me a candidas detox package. It claimed to kill candidas in half a month if you take it. It didn’t mention anything about dieting though. I figured it would do the work for me. It sounded good, but I didn’t buy it at the end, because I thought I should try the current plan first, so if it didn’t work I could tell you guys it doesn’t work.

I want to get rid of the sluggish cognitive tempo (a new name for the ADHD predominantly inattentive, or ADD) and its symptoms.

Is it relevant to those of you who are “normal”? YES. As we grow older, more and more of us will develop what is similar to ADD anyway, due to the cumulating effect of many years of poor diets. If you want to grow old and wise, instead of becoming old and dependent, you too should consider to do what I do now.

I heard that colloidal silver can kill the candidas effectively for the first few days, but it also destroy the good bacteria in the digestive system, so I would have to re-plant them into my gut, by eating plain, organic yogurt! It’s delicious if you mix it with raw honey.

The first 2 benefits that I get from the dieting are better sleep, and better mood!

I heard that sugar is linked to depression. It certainly links to mood swing and fuels the candidas. Ultimately, it kills you, but it kills you slowly.

I stopped getting any sugar—tea, coffee, or soda.

My quality of sleep is much better. The bouts of depression comes much less frequent and even if it comes, it is like water off the duck back.

Before this diet/fast, I would often fall into temptation—”just one more soda”, “one more cup of milk tea”, and so on! Even if that means depression would come. I would try my luck. Each time I would get insomina and depression

Milk, which belongs to gluten food group, can trigger depression in people who are sensitive to it. Here is why. And if you get rid of candidas, you get rid of some allergies too.  See Naturally and Holistically Curing Allergies by Eliminating Candidas.

I don’t know if I am allergic to gluten, but I am avoiding this entire food group to see if my health will get any better. It is the only way to test if you have it.

Now that I am off sugars and milk, my moods are much more stable. Nevertheless, some stubborn symptoms remained.

For example, I still very much “crave emotional and intellectual stimulation”, which is one of the symptoms for my sluggish cognitive tempo. The problem with that is, I would have the strong tendency to seek activities that are fun (stimulating), instead of working on what is mentally demanding, such as typing a blog entry like this one.

Basically, anything that doesn’t provide instant gratification, but requires some amount of thought and focus, would often be challenging for me—I would not be able to do it as much as I want to, when the mental energy is just not there. The level of energy is sporadic. It is hard for me to control it.

This is how it’s like if you have sluggish cognitive tempo.

It really messes up your mind if you have it—”Am I lazy?”

Even though I know that what I am dealing with are symptoms, but I often still feel that it is me. I already am taking the actions I need to take to cure it, but the guilt is still the first response when I don’t feel like I have done enough. Somehow I still feel like the symptoms shouldn’t be there, or I could somehow overcome them with my willpower, such as getting the task done despite the strong pull from distractions, and the lack of mental energy (low motivation).

I have lived long enough to know that everytime I tried to beat it I would end up losing. When I don’t have the motivation to do something, no matter how hard I punish myself afterward, or to scare myself into doing it beforehand, I just couldn’t do it. Even if I managed to start it, I would still get distracted shortly after. I would try to get back to it again, and only to find myself distracted again. Hours later, I would wonder how I became lost, and forgot what I originally wanted to do.

I have hopes. If the candidas is gone, along with the sluggish cognitive tempo, life would be so good. I would finally be able to become what I long wanted to become.

I still consume meat though, such as sardines and salmons. I also eat chicken and beef. This fast is still good spiritually even though I have these delicious foods. It is my preliminary round of attack against my spiritual enemies. It will make my subsequence fast much easier. The detox symptoms will be less severve when you eliminate candidas and some toxins. It’s better than doing it cold turkey from day 1.

You can get a lot out of this post too, because most people have some degree of candidias due to the standard diets, and the health issues that come from the overgrowth can not be underestimated. Everything is easier when you keep the yeast away. For example, you can solve the achieve weight loss much more easily if the overgrowth is gone.

And in my case, it fuels my ADD/ADHD. Even for “normal” people, yeast problem causes brain fog. Many people live under its curses. If only we know what normal truly is for our brains, our productivities will increase many folds.

The ADD and ADHD took my life away from me for many many years, long before I realized what they were.

If you read my ADHD articles, then you know how much pains I have been through on a daily basis becuase of the conditions.

Then I also discovered I have a yeast overgrowth (Candidiasis), which is also common for ADHD or ADD. Some of their major symptoms are the same. In fact, ADD and ADHD sufferers do often come with other health issues that are not part of the list of symptoms for their conditions, but they happen to be on the list for candidiasis.

It makes me wonder if they have the same causes. One thing is for sure—that if I get rid of the yeast problem, my ADHD/ADD will calm down a lot too.

If you don’t mind, I would like to show you my tongue. You can see a layer of cotton cheese like of white stuff on my tongue.

A white coated tongue wasn’t the only thing that convinced me of the problem. I actually did a home candidas test and found out I did have an overgrowth of candidas.

I have symptoms such as inability to concentrate, mood swing, fatigue, depression, anxiety, short term memory problem, and probably some other symptoms that I overlooked. Each person with an overgrowth problem has a different combo of symptoms on the list, but they rarely have the entire set. You can see the complete list here.

What made me hopeful is that if I do get rid of the yeast problem, I might finally get rid of the conditions together. In “How to Improve Your Handwriting Simply by Changing What You Eat“, Dr Hyman explains how he cured ADHD and a load of other health issues in a boy, by changing what he eats, and by eliminating his yeast overgrowth!

I am not here to tell you what Dr Hyman said. You can go to his website to read that article, but here I want to show you my simple plan.

To starve them.

The Green Juice

The good news is, I don’t have to spend a lot of money and go through a rigorous dieting plan to starve the yeast. The plan isn’t complicated at all.

I don’t have to starve myself to starve the candidas.

My trusty researchers recommend this green juice. It is delicious.

I forgot to buy the celery and parsley. But I added some frozen fruits bought from Costco into the incomplete ingredients, and put them into a blender to make something similar. It tasted fantastic.

I also drink lemon honey. I use raw honey though, to avoid feeding the yeast.

I can sense the yeast fighting back on the very first day. They make me crave sugary or diary drinks and foods, such as rice, cheese, wine, beers, milk, and coffee/tea(with the milk and refined sugar of course). It’s almost like they can take over my brain to control my behavior.

It’s okay to eat canned sardine or salmon. They are actually healthy. Protein and fruits won’t harm. To block my craving for milk, I bought a box of organic almond milk. It tastes really good, and it isn’t more expensive than milk anyway. If you are allergic to gluten, like many are, then you should drink almond milk instead of animal milk, or soy (as it is toxic).

I also eat plain, organic yogart. It is diary, but it is good for the gut, because it plants new, beneficial bacteria into it. It works much better than probiotic for many people.

In the future I might get a juicer to make green juice out of the receipe. For now, the fiber doesn’t harm. I pooped 3-4 times the first day with the green drink.

I estimate that I need to do it for 2 weeks. At some point I might turn it into a fast (with no protein and solid food). My intention is to pray more as the whole thing is actually a fast. I am fasting from diary and sugary foods. I am also avoiding the junk foods.

I used to do water fast a lot. The last major water fast was 5 years ago. I couldn’t do it anymore. I was burnt out. It was exhausting. Now I know why—the candidas overgrowth made it so much harder for me when I tried to drink only water.

I need to get rid of the yeast problem, and detox my body, before my body is willing to do it again.

A water fast is healthy, but it is too challenging with the sugar craving, and the relapse from cutting off the toxins in my usual diet. It is like quitting a drug addiction cold turkey.

My Expectation

I expect new found clarity for my brain. I look forward to not having to live with the constant bombardment of thoughts again. I will probably sleep less and no longer have frequent fatigues or emotional exhaustions. Insomina shouldn’t be a problem anymore.

With a new ability to focus, I will procrastinate much less, and get on with tasks much more quickly. There will be much less fillers in between tasks. I will actually be able to prioritize the tasks and automatically know when to do what, and actually get to do it.

I will also have an increased ability to multitask. Now I tend to do a lot of things at the same time, but that is because I can’t muster enough focus for each activity, and I am constanly under stimulated, so I crave stimulation from many sources. My mind jumps to another direction before I complete something at hand, and it continues to jump like that, and then suddenly I wonder, “where am I? why am I doing this?”.

I often find myself at activity D, E, F, or G, and wonder how I got there from activity A.

I don’t have my schedule planned very well. Tomorrow I could be somewhere talking to someone I haven’t seen in a long time. I am very spontaneous and random. On the other hand, I could forget the only one commitment on my schedule, such as friends’ wedding.

It is THAT bad.

I am very excited to get rid of these problems and gain new abilities.

Spiritual Benefit

A major benefit is becoming happy. When you can finally focus and enjoy your work, money, success, freedom… start to come. Life will be so much easier if you can just focus. People with little problem to focus don’t know how depressing to not being able to focus productively.

I have anxiety and depression (ADHD based). They have huge, negative spiritual impact.

Depression made the worst impact, because it stands between me and what I have to do a lot. When you are depressed, you can’t function. You just sit there and wallow in sadness. You won’t have the strength to do anything afterward. An entire day would be gone if you are depressed enough.

Anxiety is a pain too. It gets triggered whenever I read a job posting, for example, which set me back from doing as much as I can for my career. I would have done a lot more if the anxiety isn’t triggered so frequently throughout the whole process.

They affect the way I see God. When you are depressed, it’s very hard to see God in a positive light.

Another benefit is the increased capacity to do more spiritually, due to increased energy. Spiritual insights, spiritual discipline, and ministering to others require a lot of energy. For example, writing for this blog takes a lot of mental effort. It takes energy to serve others and God.

When you pray, it takes a lot of energy if you are praying for real, not just doing it as a token prayer before going to bed. It is a spiritual battle. If you have a low level of energy, you will fall into sleep, you won’t be able to fight off distraction, you won’t remember what to pray for, and therefore your prayers won’t work. The is speaking from my 14 years of experience.

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I will post more about my Candidas diet as long as it is still going. You might hear more from me as my brain works better. The last time I did a major fast my brain was so clear. I only needed to sleep for 4 hours per night. I didn’t have the bunch of healthy green foods and supplements back then though. This time I am starting off with healthy green drink, and protein. When my body gets healthier, I might do a couple days of water fast or juice fast, and see if it’s going to be different than before.

The key is to believe that you really did forgive after you made that decision.

Forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily make us forget the pains, nor does it 100% prevent us from reliving the experience, though it is part of the healing. This is why it is so hard to believe that we really have forgiven the people who hurt us.

If I can forgive, I believe most people also can. Let me explains.

I Can’t Help But Have to Relive Hurtful Experiences Many Times

If not for God, I would be living with a full blown Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to my childhood. I am not going to share the details for now, but I want to tell you that even with my walk with God, the way my brain works is still different than those who grew up with a relatively unthreatening childhood. I had a hard time focusing on anything without reliving unpleasant memory, and intrusive thoughts that are upsetting. My conditions have a lot to do with many years of conditioning. For example, if you get repeatedly punished under certain circumstance, that circumstance will trigger a state of fear every time you find yourself in it.

When you are in a state of fear, you would have a hard time focusing, and thus couldn’t function well. For me, I have a lot of triggers because I got repeatedly punished for things big or small. Before I recognized my condition for what it is, I often kept trying to overcome it with more fears and self-punishment. I kept pushing myself to change and to be on par with other people. Sometimes, this appoarch only gives me self-fulfilling prophecies—the more I feed my fears, the more they become real.

For many years, I didn’t realize that they are symtoms of CPTSD, but during my many years of search for answers to my struggles, I have identified many symptoms that I recently came to understand as part of the CPTSD. They sabotaged my relationship, health, spirituality, career, finance, success, and so much of everything in my life. Many times I had to take long walks to cool down my thoughts. People don’t know why I am always alone, and am always thinking. I am always compelled by a strong, persistent need to think about my past, and to ask a lot of questions to many things in my life, especially the failures/disappointments. I have a hard time of letting things go.

I have decided many time to let go of my past, and for periods of times I was successful, but sometimes my condition would come back. Let me explain.

The Arhitecture of My Brain

It turns out that a child who had trauma or fears often enough would have a very different brain arhitecture comparing with a healthy child. Stress hormones surpass the growth of certain brain cells and promote emotional memory. It makes the child retaining emotional memory better. That brain would find it hard to distinguish what is threatening or what not (any emotional or hurtful experience would be perceived as threatening to my brain). It significantly surpass the learning ability of the child.

To me, it means that everything negative that people say or do to me tend to stick in my mind for a long time. My brain cannot distinguish and prioritize these experiences easily. It will relieve the experiences obsessively over and over again until I can find a satisfying closure to them. However, new hurtful experience will trigger the old ones, and the old ones in turns trigger the older ones. I have to find new closures to my experiences when new ones triggers the old ones.

This Trains Me to Forgive

If normal people experience some small hurts, they would forget or ignore them much easier. They would have to forgive just one or two times, or they would totally forget about it before it even gets under their nerves. For me, I often have to forgive everytime I relieve the experiences.

Not only that, since we have to live with the consequences of what other people did to us, we may from time to time discover that the extent of the damages are more than we thought initially. For example, when I discovered what I had to live with was in fact CPTSD, this new finding wound me in many new ways. I realize that the degree of hurts and handicap I have to endure is much deeper than I thought. I have to re-affirm my previous decisions to forgive my abusers, who gave me this long term struggle that has tormented me for so long.

While I did forgive them for hurting me then, I didn’t prepare to face so many negative consequences that I had been constantly discovering afterward. Each time I discovered a new collateral damage (sometimes the Holy Spirit brought that piece of memory to my mind to explain something to me), I have to re-forgive again.

Trauma Begets Trauma

An abuse victim tends to attract new abusers into his or her life. There are a lot of explanation to this, but this is a fact for sure. I can testify this in my own life. Thank God, because of His grace, I would say this is much less a problem than it could be, but I still have this struggle. I wish I am immune to bullies and abusers, but as of writing I still feel like an abusers magnet!

Attracting abusers is only one way of begetting new trauma. There are also other factors that make a victim’s life very difficult. This is like the rich gets richer and the poor and poorer. Sufferers of abuses are prone to addictions, financial struggles, illnesses, crimes, and other manifestations of trauma. They tend to reinforce and feed upon each other to create a living hell for the sufferers. For example, I have major struggle with focus in workplace, and when I was employed I constantly worried about getting fired. The anixety only made me even less functional in the workplace. Financial and career struggle wound my self-esteem continuously, make me doubt God, and make me financially dependent on others (who could be my abusers).

It is getting better because at least I now understand what caused my career and financial struggle, as well as other struggles, and knowing is a major key to healing. I am looking into Cognitive behavioral therapy, with the help of God, to unlearn my fear and anxiety.

So How to Forgive

I believe each time we discover something new about an emotional wound inflicted by someone, we should forgive. It takes faith, not feeling. If we wait for the right feeling before we forgive, it would be too late. This world is full of trauma and wickedness, so if we wait for the right feeling, there will probably be many more new wounds before the right feeling ever arrives.

Wounds that aren’t healed will fester. They will produce bitterness and curses. The unforgiving person will eventually become the same as the perpetuators who hurt him, because the bonds between the abusers and the victims will shape and mold the victims, unless the victims undo the bonds by forgiveness.

When you decide to forgive someone, believe that it is done. You may use some rituals to help convince yourself of that. You may say, “In the name of Jesus Christ, I forgive *name* for doing *details* to me”. I find it more assuring to clearly outline what and whom I forgive for.

Sometimes, the person who hurts us will be around for a long time. Forgiveness isn’t pardon. We can avoid that person to prevent him for hurting us more, take legal actions if necessary, and cry out to God to deliver us from our enemies if they are hard to get rid of.

It used to take repeated effort for me to make certain that I have forgiven someone. I might have to relive the hurtful experience against my will from time to time, but I make it very clear to myself, to God, and to Satan that I already forgave and the hurtful feeling is just a feeling. In my earlier years, I used to doubt if I was being bitter, but after many years of practice, I learn to distinguish between bitterness, and natural feeling that comes with memory. I am not God. I cannot make myself forget certain things at will, but when I forgive, it usually turns out that the memory doesn’t hurt as bad in the long run.

~~~~~~~~

Forgiveness is the beginning of healing and blessing. If we don’t forgive, God won’t forgive us (Matthew 6:14-16). If we live without God, we are the same as the sinners who hurt us. We will do something equally bad, if not worst, to people like what they did to us. Unforgiveness puts us on the same ground as our worst offenders.

It is only the first step. The healing process can be long and painful, especially for those who have lived through major or prolonged trauma, so let the healing start as soon as possible.

Let us all forgive. Unforgiveness is probably one of the biggest reason why people fail to make it into heaven. If you are a born again Christian, make sure you don’t let any unrepented sin, including unforgiveness, to hinder you in your walk with God.

God bless you and one day we will meet in heaven.

1. Overcoming depression
2. How to have more faith
3. How to stop sinning
4. Managing stress
5. Overcoming anxiety
6. Overcoming procrastination
7. Overcoming bad habits
8. Overcoming lust
9. Overcoming Fear
10. Overcoming Adversity
11. Seeking and fulfilling God’s plan for your life
12. How to be prosperous and successful in a conservative, biblical, and godly way

Now I wouldn’t dare giving you the above grand promises if I hadn’t received some major revelations from the Lord recently, which I believed would change my own life dramatically from now on.

I want to share this blessing with you, and the blessing of these revelations are meant for every Christian, and to a certain extent, even for the non-Christians. Everyone can receive the benefits of God’s promises. It makes me think of Psalms 119:130, “The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.”

Mysteries of the kingdom of God revealed!

Jesus told the disciples that he had explained to them the mysteries of the kingdom of God (Luke 8:10). In other words, the mysteries that had been hidden since time of  Genesis were revealed in his teaching.

What mysteries?

Items 1 to 12 from the top of this post, and even more!

The kingdom of God is as close as you want it to be. From now on, stop acting or speaking like you don’t know how to live victoriously. Stop thinking that you shouldn’t be held accountable for things you don’t know.

Why do I say that?

Just days ago I was like most people. I was not above complaining about what I didn’t know, and what I didn’t have. I would say things like, “how do I stop sinning?”; “I am confused!”; “I don’t know why I am like this!”

The Kingdom of God is as close as you want it to be

Right after Jesus talked about this mysteries, he explained why the multitude didn’t understand his parables.

Luke 8:10 And He said, “To you it has been given to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God, but to the rest it is given in parables, that ‘ Seeing they may not see, And hearing they may not understand.

People who don’t really want to receive more from God will not receive. They see but they don’t see. They hear but they don’t understand.

In the kingdom of God, the more we have the more we will be given. It’s like capitalism.

For example, have you tried to repeat a refreshing conversation you had with a dear friend to another person?

If that person is a bad listener, or if he doesn’t have the intimate knowledge or experience your dear friend has, you would feel like your words get caught up in your throat. That person might think that he understands you,  but your message is oversimplified and desensitized into something that is far less than the conversation you had with your dear friend.

It’s similar to when God is trying to reveal His mysteries to us. The more we have, the more He will be able to tell us things. The less we have, the less He will be able to explain deeper things to us.

An insincere, passive way of listening is not going to bring us far.

But you are not like that. You obviously want to know more. So don’t worry. You are going to understand the mysteries of God. God Himself guaranteed that. Seek and you will find! (Matt 7:7)

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A perfect answer to the question “how?”

Sincere and God-loving Christians often ask “How?”, which is a good question. The fact that you are interested in finding out the answers to items 1 to 12 on top of this post indicates that you like How-to articles, right?

Great, I am a How-to kind of guy. I like clear step by step formula for spiritual matter.

God said, “sin no more!” (John 8:11) And I asked”How?”

God said, “Be joyful always” (1 Thess 5:16) I asked “How?”

God said, “Be perfect, because I am perfect” (Matt 5:48) “How?”

“Have faith in me!” “How?”

“Meditate in my words day and night, and you will be prosperous and have good success!” “How?”

“How do I stop this depressive thought?” “How do I get rid of this bitterness?” “How do I stop sinning?” “How can I become more diligent?” “How can I stop being lazy?” …

God always reveal the answer, although many times I didn’t get the answers quickly. It sometimes took years. God doesn’t answer my questions in essays. The answer often requires God using my own experience and adding bit and piece of enlightenment along the way, which eventually form a 3-D testimony of my own that finally give me the answer.

It’s like putting puzzles together into a picture.

Regarding the question of “how?”.

The perfect answer to the Hows is…

You don’t know how!!!

Yup, that’s the answer. That’s right, you don’t know how. I am not kidding.

Mark 4:26-27 And He said, “The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground, and should sleep by night and rise by day, and the seed should sprout and grow, he himself does not know how.

If you ask God how this happen, how that happen, and how to do this or that, God might actually answer you, but usually the ultimate solution is “just be”.

The words of God change what you are. The Bible is not written to give us a list of How-to, but to give us life.

How often do you see the Bible give you a list of how-to and formulas? You can find them in a cook book, but probably not the Bible.

How does it related to the Parable Of The Mustard Seed?

The key is hidden in the seed.

You might never understand the hows, but if you plant the seeds, and wait patiently, they will give you a harvest. The seeds will change you from within, and release the power of God in everything God called you to do. Problems solved. No need for the hows anymore.

You don’t need to worry about the hows anymore. They are irrelevant.

You have everything you need already. The Bible says God has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness. (2 Peter 1:3)

What is life? Productivity certainly is. Joy, peace, health, and success are also important parts of life. Life isn’t just merely surviving and putting up with sins, defeats, and pains.

And there is godliness. Godliness is perfection and holiness. It’s living above sins!

Life and godliness are the solutions to items 1 to 12!!

Before I go on about actually planting the seeds and getting a good harvest of life and godliness, let me develop my case a little bit better.

How come some Christians are more Christian than the others?

This is the question I had for years. I often heard that some spiritual giants had a major revelation and suddenly they no longer sin. (such as Watchman Nee, Hudson Taylor)

I had been seeking this elusive, mysterious revelation for years, but I didn’t really understand. I read their testimonies but I didn’t see through the surface. I heard but I didn’t understand. (Luke 8:10)

If you have the same experience, welcome to the club! Congratulation because my years of struggles may serve you well!

I often asked Christians whom I admired questions such as “How do you keep yourself from sinning?”, “How come you are so self-disciplined?” “How do you manage to achieve so much within so short a time?”

I’d even asked pastors about this, but they didn’t really answer my questions.

For the victorious Christians, often time they really don’t know how they came to be victorious. They simply are what they are.

I know it’s not about self. It’s about relying on God. I rely on God, too! But how come I fall short while some people always do better than me? And they don’t even know how it happened!

Look into the seeds!!!

The mustard seed has faith, power, and transformational properties within it

Just scatter the seeds (The word of God) on the ground (Your soul: your heart and mind), preserve them with a good heart, and you will reap a harvest. (Luke 8:15)

The mustard seeds are the word of God.

Your faith will increase simply by listening to the word. (Romans 10:17)

Every word of God contains power. (Hebrews 4:12)

The word of God can be implanted into your soul, and save your soul through its living, growing, and transforming power. (James 1:21)

The word of God will accomplish everything it says it will accomplish. (Isaiah 5:11)

How come I don’t experience the word of God that way?

If God’s word has the aforementioned properties, then why do I go to the church so often, read the Bible a lot, and hear the sermons so many times, but still get stuck with certain struggles in my life?

The main reasons can be found in the parable of the sower (Mark 4:1-20, Matthew 13:1-23, and Luke 8:1-15) You and I know that only good seed (not to be confused with the mustard seeds) who persevere, who refuse distractions, who suffer persecutions, and who listen to word of God with a “good heart” will produce a great harvest in the end.

What else? The rest of this post will focus exactly on that.

For the sincere Christians who seem to belong to the category of good seeds : they go to the church, they study the Bible, and they do this, this and that, but they still had problems with lust, depression, laziness, sickness, fears, and etc.

What’s wrong?

You have to unlock the powers within the mustard seeds!!!

God has done His parts, and the only part left is ours.

The Bible says, “His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue” (2 Peter 1:3)

God has already given us everything, absolutely everything that pertain to life and godliness. He doesn’t need to give us more. We have enough. We should.

So how do you unlock the power of God’s word? How do you get the seeds working?

Simple. So simple that it’s almost hard to understand.

#1, speak the word of God in faith and speak it often. (Joshua 1:8)

I don’t mean intellectual conversation or discussion. We can study God’s word intellectually, but that’s another subject. Here I want to let you know that even simple, verbal declaration of God’s word can trigger the power of God.

God said, “Let there be light!” and there was light. The physical world didn’t ask “how?”. It simply obeyed. There was nothing too intellectual or too complicated about it.

Jesus rebuked the sea and the wind, and they listened to him. (Matt 8:26)

The principle of faith is that if you confess with your mouth and agree in your heart the things you want, they shall be given you. (Romans 10:10; Mark 11:22-24)

Jesus taught us this,

Mark 11:22-24 So Jesus answered and said to them, “Have faith in God. For assuredly, I say to you, whoever SAYS to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he SAYS. Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.

Matthew 17:20-21 So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.

You can speak God’s word. You can pray God’s word. One thing is necessary here, faith. If you say it and believe it in your heart, God’s word will manifest.

Don’t pray in a way as if God’s promise isn’t there. For example, don’t pray for victory over sin, or strength over sin, because the Bible say that you and I already connected with Jesus Christ in His death, burial, and resurrection, and therefore we also shared His victory over sins. (Romans 6; Galatians 5:24)

Miraculously, whenever I speak Christ’s victory with all my heart, temptations and the power of sins would collapse and victory would manifest. It isn’t about my willpower. The victory has already been won so don’t attempt to win it again.

If you believe that God’s promise isn’t what it says it is, and pray or speak in a way as if His promise is powerless, then the reality will come out that way.

If you say, “I really don’t know…” or “I am just confused…”, then you will indeed become “don’t know” and confused. You put faith in the words of doubt, so your faith in the negative and your negative words work against you.

Word of faith works in both negative and positive. The negative side of faith is doubt. Doubt means negative faith. It’s one kind of faith. It works.

“I am tired” So you get tired. “I think I am sick” So you get sick. “I don’t know why things get so bad lately” So things get bad and you don’t know why.

In the past many years, I often talked about my sins, my bad habits, and my confusions. I had tried many formula, listen to many godly men and their teachings, but the perfect formula still eluded me. So I kept talking about my sins, my bad habits, and my confusions, and they remained with me faithfully for as long as I talked about them and put my faith in those words.

Countless Christians speak in words of defeats, of their bad experiences, and of their feelings, than they speak in the word of God in faith. No wonder their situations never change. (Me included)

It doesn’t matter how godly you are, how sincere you are, or how much you love God, if you apply this spiritual principle of spoken faith, this principle will work.

You can apply this spiritual principle in ignorant, but this principle doesn’t filter the results base on what you really want. Like electricity, it can hurt you or serve you.

When you speak the word of God often, you hear it often. When you hear it often, your faith increases often. Faith comes by hearing. (Romans 10:17)

I learned to stop trying to find faith from within. I learned that I was only given faith that was the size of a mustard seed. I need to speak it and exercise it to release the faith of God within it.

#2, Deal with the tongue

People often want to know how to have better self-control, productivity, and all that. They also wonder why they don’t have the full life that Jesus promised. (John 10:10)

Some Christians even struggled with bondage such as suicidal thoughts, depressions, angers, bitterness, and all sort of things.

Christians who are willing to obey everything God ask of them might still live a powerless and unfulfilled life, and most often the source of problems trace back to their tongues.

James 3:2-6 For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. Indeed, we put bits in horses’ mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.

Psalm 34:12-16 Who is the man who desires life, And loves many days, that he may see good? Keep your tongue from evil, And your lips from speaking deceit.

Proverbs 15:4 A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.

The Bible says that evil words of the tongue came from hell!(James 3:2-6) Hell is the home of demons, and there they torture the damned souls whom they had successfully deceived till the end of their earthly life.

For example, people who had self-hatred, suicidal thoughts, and depression were actually victim of demons. They planted these thoughts and deceptions in their victims’ minds.

The purposes of the demons are to steal, kill, and destroy. (John 10:10) The Devil can only achieve that by planting evil thoughts and deceptions in people’s minds. The demons will move on to the next victim after they have done their planting, and they will come back to check their work from time to time. (Job 1:7; 1 Peter 5:8)

If these victims died in sins, or died without Christ, the demons that tortured them on earth will continue their torments in hell.

The tongue is a battle field of the Holy Spirit, the flesh, and the demons. ( Gal 5:17) The demons want to use our tongues to curse, to defile our whole body, and set things on fire!!

Sounds crazy? One time Jesus rebuked Peter with these words, “Get thee behind me Satan!” (Matt 16:23) Peter was just trying to talk Jesus out of the Crucifixion, but Jesus identified the true author of this plead as Satan himself.

The heaven and hell know that if they can control your tongues, they control your whole body.(James 3:2) Which side do you prefer to yield your control over?

When Christians speak evil of any kind, even if they think it’s just harmless venting or teasing, they are actually giving power to the enemy. Words of self-pity, doubts, complains, condemnation, and idle words make the Devil powerful.

The Devil has no power over us unless we give it to him. The Devil cannot order the mountains to move, but we can. The Devil knows it. Therefore, he works very hard to get us to say things that he wants us to say.

Through self-inspection and revelation from God, I learned that I had a pattern of self-fulfilling prophesies. I used to talk about my fears a lot. I was taught to tell things as it is. I was taught to vent it out. For every 1-2 years, some of my worst fear would come to pass, exactly the way I didn’t want it to happen!!

For example, I predicted that since I was so bad in self-discipline (A result of self-fulfilling prophesy in its own right), I would probably suffer lack of achievements. And I predicted that if my dream girl came along, I would be so inadequate and unproductive that I won’t deserve her.

Since immigrated into Canada, I had always worried about my broken English and the fact that I was too lazy to improve it, and when I did meet a dream girl (Second one, see below), she did loath at my accent!

The snobbish attitude that girl had toward me was part of my self-fulfilling prophesy as well. Prior to meeting her in reality, and after I met her, I had been talking about my inadequacy, broken English, and lack of social grace for so many times. I also kept saying and thinking that if I met a dream girl she would probably see through my inadequacies.

A couple of dream girls did come along(Respectively, each for 2.5 years, with 1 year of break in between, so my torments lasted for 5+years), and it did happen the way I predicted. “Better guys” beat me to it, except that the guys weren’t even Christians. They weren’t really superior than I was, but I prophesied my own defeats and contributed to it by the words of my mouth.

It didn’t help when I had been complaining about the snobbish attitude the second dream girl had occasionally expressed toward me, what was I thinking? You can’t get something you really want by complaining about it!!

Side note: Don’t complain about people. Don’t gossip. The more you condemn, the nastier those people would become. Your verbal curses can make people worst than they already are.

Side note#2: I know a lot of failures can be attributed to others, but talking about their incompetence, problems, and attitudes will not make things work. It will actually deliver your worst predictions- “Oh! because so and so … [have done something or failed to do something], it’s going to be … [thousands words description of how bad consequences are going to be]…”

You have faith on the negatives, and you speak it often, so it shall be done for you.

[Back to topic.]

And I did suffer financially and academically because my lack of discipline. I had talked about my lack of self-discipline so many times for so many years, but I had rarely talked about the fruits of the Spirit, which include self-control.

For the 3 years that followed, I cut back on negative words and thinking by listening to God and believing in His perspective on things, rather than in my own perspective– my perspective always lean on the worst angle.

The cut back helped a lot. My depression stopped.

Recently, when I finally had a better understanding of the principle of speaking faith and used it to serve me, bad habits and laziness lose their grips on me!! It’s magical.

Control your tongue, and speak the word of God, and you will get the power of God’s word to work for you. God’s word always deliver when you speak it in faith.

An article I find helpful:

Idle words leak life

#3, Have Faith

Have you ever asked God to increase your faith? When the disciples did this this was Jesus ‘s reply.

Luke 17:5-6 And the apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith.” So the Lord said, “If you have faith as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.

John 14:12-14 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do,

Everybody has faith. If someone believe in doubts, rather than in truth, that person is putting his faith in doubts.

If we believe in our feelings, circumstances, and ourselves, more than we believe in the words of God, then we are putting our faith on these things rather than on God.

Jesus didn’t grant his disciples the request for more faith, but he told them how they can exercise the faith they already had by speaking it.

Faith is like a mustard seed. It’s alive. It can grow.

It grows by hearing the word of God. Faith comes by hearing. (Romans 10:17)

The more we speak our faith, the more powerful our faith become as we listen to our voice of faith.

As we experience the power of God, victories will begin to manifest, and the more we experience victories, the more our faith would be strengthen. It’s a positive circle.

We can duplicate what Jesus did, and even more, if we exercise our faith properly.

# 4, Persevere

Luke 8:11-15 ¹¹“This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. ¹²Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. ¹³Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. ¹⁴The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. ¹⁵But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

Perseverance is perhaps the most important key to get the word of God to work in your life. People who just try and see what happen will not last.

The Bible says life’s distraction and time of testing will come. It will look confusing. There will be unpleasant feeling.

After we plant the word of God into our souls and into our circumstances, things probably aren’t going to look very different immediately. It might actually seem worst than before.

The longer you have been a Christian, the more boring things will look like in the short-run. The honeymoon with God has long passed, but if you persevere, God will deliver His promises.

God doesn’t want whiners who whine at the first hint of hardship. God want us to speak the word of faith regardless of our circumstances.

Hebrews 11 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

2 Corinthians 4:13 And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, “I believed and therefore I spoke,”we also believe and therefore speak,

When situations look bad, and when you feel negative from within, keep speaking the word of God.

You might feel sick, but if you know in your heart that God has promised you healing, then keep speaking your healing out loud. If you are unemployed, but know in your heart that God is giving you a good job, or income of any kind, keep speaking abundance.

When I feel like procrastinating or being lazy, I speak out what I am going to do and why I am able to accomplish the tasks. Although I still feel lazy, my body and mind would find new energy that push me onward, and go ahead to do the tasks that I used to procrastinate under similar situations.

Romans 4:17 As it is written: “I have made you a father of many nations.”He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed—the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were.

The proper way to do it is to calls those things that are not as though they were. You don’t call things that are as though they are. You call thing that are not as though they were.

Man of faith call things that are not as though they were, until they are!!

Man of Doubts call things that are as though they are, until they are.

# 5 , Walk with the Holy Spirit

To be filled with God’s word is to be filled with the Spirit. You can’t have one without the other. Only the Holy Spirit can help you control the tongue.

Go to How to Live A Spirit Filled Life for deeper discussion on the Spirit.

Without the Holy Spirit, we are only as good as non-Christians who practice positive thinking and affirmation. This is why there has been a lot of buzz with The Law Of Attraction and all sort of new age techniques that have to do with verbal affirmation.

You see, many non-Christians can also create abundance and influence others by speaking positively about their situations. They have observed that there was this phenomenon, but they didn’t know why. It was like the discovery of the law of gravity.

The Bible says,

Matthew 7:21-23 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’

1 Corinthians 13:2 and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

It is possible to have the faith of God without obedience!! It is also possible to have perfect faith without the love of God.

The principle of spoken faith can work for you in this life, but without obedience to the Holy Spirit and the love of God, one will lose his heavenly reward, and it might even be possible to lose his salvation.

Therefore, even a non-Christian can be blessed in this life by the principle of spoken faith. No wonder there are so many successful non-Christians out there who rely on their own strength and their idols.

We as Children of God have much more powerful allies– God’s word and His Spirit– and if we work with them to our full capacity, we will indeed overcome this world and be on top of things. (Deu 28:13)

God does not show favoritism, whoever obeys His law of spoken faith will receive its benefits, but whoever violates this principle will suffer loss. In terms of this principle, it is not how much you love God or how sincere you are that counts, it’s whether you work with this principle that determines whether this principle serves you or hurts you.

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Other resources that I find useful

The Power Of the Tongue

Charles Capps Ministry of Faith

Coming Next: Testimonies Of Faith

The best way to learn a spiritual lesson is combining both scriptural teaching and practical experiences. In the next post I am going to show you the testimonies of faith in actions– How people recover from terminal illness, handicaps, sins, demonic influences, and financial hardship.

Go from Parable Of The Mustard Seed to the Next Post

There were times when I was confused, perplexed, agitated, and stuck. I had prayed very hard at those times, but the answers were always postponed, blurred, or blocked. Sometimes even the usual channels which I had used to reach God or other Christians were jammed.

This happened before in the Old Testament time, when a servant of God, Daniel, prayed to God about something important, but the response from God was delayed for 21 days. The messenger of the Lord explained to Daniel what had happened to him during the 21 days:

Daniel 10: 12-13

¹² Then he said to me, “Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words. ¹³ But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me twenty-one days; and behold, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I had been left alone there with the kings of Persia.

God allowed His angel to be delayed by some major demons (Prince/kings of Persia) while being sent to carry an important message to His servant.

Today, Satan and His forces still operate fiercely to try to make you think that God doesn’t care about or listen to your prayers. Often times, if you don’t write down your prayers and questions for God on a journal, you will forget. Satan wants you to simply forget these crucial information and win the cases by your absence.

To use an analogy, it’s like when you try to surf the Web for information, or answers to some questions, but the Internet is cut, or a website you find helpful suddenly goes down and you don’t know what happened to it! How would you feel if your Internet get cut off suddenly? If it was me, I would be worried and wondered if the service provider is fixing it!

In fact, a website I recently recommended in my article, Spiritual Cleansing, suddenly went down after I posted the article. The author of the site later informed me that his site was targeted by IRC bots, and his router and modem got fired by a lighting! All happened in about the same time. Speaking of enemy’s attack!

Spiritual Battle Make Things Unusually and Unreasonably Hard

Are you familiar with the story of Job?

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⁸ Then the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered My servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil?”
⁹ So Satan answered the LORD and said, “Does Job fear God for nothing? ¹⁰ Have You not made a hedge around him, around his household, and around all that he has on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. ¹¹ But now, stretch out Your hand and touch all that he has, and he will surely curse You to Your face!”
¹² And the LORD said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your power; only do not lay a hand on his person.”
So Satan went out from the presence of the LORD.  Job 1: 8-9

Like Job, we can encounter similar attacks from Satan. We too won’t know what is going on behind the scene.

After, Satan got permission from the Lord, he went out and wreck havoc on Job’s procession and family. Sometime Satan and his force will target us and ask permission from the Lord to do some damages to us. If we are unaware of the spiritual weapons we have, and that spiritual force is working invisibly against us, the attacks can go on and on.

Does any of the following seems familiar to you?

1. There might be days when you get targeted by bullies at work or school. And the bullying occurs very frequently and seems to have no end to it. You keep asking yourself and God but couldn’t find out why you have been targeted.
2. Schoolwork, landing or keeping a job, or other important tasks in life become unnaturally difficult and depressive. You encounter heavy distractions that make you doubt if you’re just lazy or dumb. You have been on your wit’s end. You ask and pray, but the situations get worst or stuck for no apparent reasons (or reasons just keep coming).
3. Relationships become very tough to maintain. Casual conversation or networking is frequently destroyed by misunderstanding, or unfounded prejudice.
4. Verbal abuses, physical abuses, and rebelling attitudes of family member(s) make your life a hell.
5. A simple addiction such as playing the World Of Warcraft, watching Youtube, or more sinister ones such as viewing pornography, holds you in bondage for years even you sincerely prayed for deliverance and repented every time you committed it.
6. One person after another comes to inform you of bad news or bad reports about one thing or another, which causes you to feel worry, upset, and even depressed. These random people just keep coming and dimming your outlook on life.
7. Coincidences overlap each other to bring you to a tempting situation.

If any of the above seems familiar to you, it’s very likely that this is not natural, but is engineered by our spiritual enemies.

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Demonic Attack Doesn’t Have To Be Dramatic

There are cases of heavy demonic attacks such as hearing voices, demon procession, limbs or neck twisting at impossible angles, but for us average Christians, we most likely encounter attacks that are disguised and invisible. The enemies would prefer to have us think that the evil thoughts in our minds are our own ideas, that distraction is our own lack of discipline, that the bully who is picking on us is because we lacked social grace, and etc.

The enemies like to hide and pretend they are not there, because once we realize and identify the enemies and their work, it only takes a very short time and a few steps to totally bind and defeat them and their schemes.

On the other hand, if we fail to realize what’s going on, the battles will not simply go away just because we go to church every week, and have a quiet time with God every day to read the Bible and pray.

For real case studies on spiritual attacks, click here. Like me, you may actually find some or part of the case studies that resonate with what you have personally experienced.

The Enemies Can Rob You Of Joy, Peace, Productivity, Rest, Time, Freedom, and Possibly More

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10

And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the LORD of hosts. Malachi 3:11 (Interpretation: That means if the Lord doesn’t rebuke the devourer, it can destroy the fruits of your labors)

Blessings are abundant to Christians. They flow to us by default, but Satan can rob us of blessings if we are unaware and get manipulated by him. For example, during my years in University, I used to have depressive thoughts, and they kept increasing by the year. Many time I’d tried to study but was totally disabled by the depressive thoughts. I would look for things to regret and feel bad about, and that makes me feel guilty, worry, and hopeless. There was no use to debate with my thoughts because debates only add fuel to them.

One time, God did a spiritual surgery on me and I realized how I could stop being depressive – by hearing His voice, instead of the enemies’, or mine. Since I applied what I learned, I have become freed from depressive thinking. See:

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. James 4:7

In my depressive years, I had somehow sensed that those thoughts were originated from the enemies, but I found the thoughts so convincing that I allowed myself to analyze each word. It was how I got trapped.

I had lost some blessings that could have been mine due to depression (Does it sounds like the DEVOURER that the Bible talks about?): peace, joy, academic excellence, energies, health, and many opportunities that I’d failed to notice because of my grim outlook on life, and the lack of energy to pursue them due to depression.

In fact, sorrow, guilt, and worries are recipe for addictions, because they create a void that has to be filled by something, if not God. They also create so much pains that makes it tempting to use some addictions to medicate the pains.

Satan and His Force Love To Hide Behind The Stronghold Of Sins And Bad Habits

It makes recovery from bad habits or addictions so much harder. Behind every addiction is a lie(s), and Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44).

Satan works relentlessly to deceive us into sinning, and when we sin, we become it’s slave. (John 8:34) Once we are in the bondage of sin, Satan will tease us, accuse us, deceive us, and cast excessive sorrows and guilt on us to keep us from spiritual freedom.

One essential step you can’t miss if you want to be free is to receive heavy dose of truth daily.

³²Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. John 8:32

Addiction to sin is demon’s castle. If you allow the enemies to build a base within your soul, then there is little use to fight them back, because they will come back from the stronghold very soon next time! As long as we allow certain sins in our life, they will remain strongholds for demons.

To understand more about Satan and sin, go here.

Another article I found useful is this: Deal With Sin

On the other hand, if you bind the enemies before you seek to demolish a sinful habit, it will make the healing and recovering process so much faster. In fact, the battles with addictions can drag on for years if you fail to realize that the enemies were actively working behind scenes and bind them accordingly.

Evil spirits can sometime present and resist you for no apparent reasons. They will delay answers to your prayers, blur your mind when you try to read the Bible, cause heavy distraction to you when you need to focus, and make you uncomfortable with spiritual disciplines in general. You must never be weary of praying battle prayers and verses against the enemies, especially if you are a dedicated Christian. Satan loves to target Christian who is dedicated, for example, a Christian who is involved in a ministry or obey a clear calling from God.

Usual Causes Of Defeat: Forgetfulness and Boredom

Satan and his demonic force aren’t tough to deal with, if you know what they are doing to you and follow the biblical steps to battle them. But the problem is we forget them easily.

Binding Satan everyday can be boring. When things get normal, it’s very hard to stay alert. (Looking back, things had rarely been normal for me, the enemies came back every now and then, but often times I was ignorant of it)

It’s also pretty boring to speak the truth out loud often as instructed by many Christian leaders and teachers. But really, the power of words is indeed amazing! I wish there is CG effect every time we declare God’s words, and that it will shows demons withering, heaven and earth shaking, a beam of light shining from a crack in the sky, and the whole nine yards, but this isn’t how it works.

God’s word can indeed make a huge difference: from death to life, poverty to prosperity, illness to health, sorrow to joy, addiction to freedom, failure to triumph and etc. However, most of the time we don’t feel a thing when we speak God’s words. Many times, the reality can be quite the opposite of what God promised in the Bible.

Nevertheless, God’s words will deliver. It will change the reality in time. Maybe God is just testing your faith and see if you really believe in His word.

I don’t think I can put it better than Paul Cook, the author of porn-free.org, a website that I recommend to Christian who is under bondage of any sin and bad habit.

Believe that you CAN be completely free! Breaking addiction is a healing process and believing that you can be free is an important part.  Jesus said, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes”  ( Mark 9:23 NKJV). We exercise our faith when we believe in God’s word and confess it with our mouth (Romans 10:10).  It could be as simple as saying to ourselves each day when we get out of bed, “I believe that in Christ I can be and will be free of my struggle.”  Often our natural circumstances may not appear to be lining up with God’s word.  The challenge is to not allow our circumstances (or past failures) to steal our hope.  Faith believes in what is yet unseen (Hebrews 11:1-3).  It releases God’s power in us to perform the impossible and bring the unseen into reality!  Paul Cook

The above quote from Paul Cook doesn’t just apply to breaking addiction, but to everything that God has promised in the Bible.

The Rewards Of Making Spiritual Battle A Habit

¹¹Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms …¹⁸And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Ephesians 6:11,12,18

²⁹“Or again, how can anyone (i.e. you) enter a strong man’s house and carry off his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man (i.e. the enemy)? Then he can rob his house. Matthew 12:29

The rewards of constant spiritual victories are freedom, success, peace, more success, and joy. These blessings are ours by default, but for many reasons Satan can come to destroy them. We must stay alert and never get tired or bored with waging frequent spiritual battles on his theftdom.

I can’t emphasis enough how important is to capture every sinful thought at the first second it arises.( 2 Corinthians 10:5) If it takes more than 2-3 second for you to reject the thought before God – and then replace it with godly ones (Philippians 4:8) – you will be much more likely to fall flat into temptation and commit the act.

If it takes you 50 times a day to bind Satan and capture sinful thoughts, then do it 50 times a day! My experience is that the enemies and sinful thoughts can seem overwhelming when you engage in spiritual battles with them, but if you stay focus and do what must be done, the temptations will lose the grips on you, every time! The more you win, the stronger your spiritual muscle will become, and Satan will eventually flee.

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Relevant Articles

• Spiritual Cleansing
• Battle Verses Of The Bible
• Control Thought
• Demons Fill The Sky

See Also

• Spiritual Discipline

The spiritual breakthrough that came after that was tremendous. But the activity itself was not mysterious at all, I will explain.

My Christians friends who knew about this were totally flabbergasted. But I thought they shouldn’t, because I knew I was just a human. Instead of making me a “saint”, the fast humbled me, allowed me to experience human’s weaknesses in a deep way, and made me sensitive to my own sin.

My Experience with Fasting other than the 40 days Fast

I learned about fasting when I was 16 years old, which was 11 years ago. I did the 40 days fast 5 years ago. Before the 40 days fast, I had done a 7 days fast, and some random single meal fast.

After the 40 days fast, I had kept up with fasting for 2 days per week for a year, and 6 months later I had resumed the habit for another 8 months.

I didn’t know much about fasting, but I just took the leap of faith

My knowledge on fasting has been growing for the last 11 years, but when I first did the 7 days fast, all I had was a little booklet about fasting. Even when I did the 40 days fast, all I knew about fasting was little.

I chose watermelon juice only because it was easy to make.

I knew fasting could be healthy, because detoxing would take place while you were not eating. But I didn’t know any more than that. My understanding about detox was faint.

Now that I know more, I can make a more sophisticated statement about detox: You are giving your digest system a break when you’re not eating. When your body is not taking any food, it heals and cleanses itself.

If I am to do something like that again, I would use a variety of mixed plant juices and fruit juices throughout the days, unless I am doing water fast.

Of course there is more detail than that. I will consolidate information one needs to consider before doing a fast, and share them in future posts. Let me focus on the spiritual breakthrough here.

My spiritual progress over the last 11 years and how fasting helps

In 2002 Summer, God prompted me to start a habit of praying for 2 hours a day everyday, and I obeyed. I have maintained the habit to this day.

Now my entire days are 70% integrated with prayers. That means 70% of my waking hours are in the prayerful/worshipful mode.

By God’s grace, and after many years of practice, I am able to maintain a balance of worshiping/conversing with God and focusing on the daily activities at the same time.

To me, blogging, playing basketball, practicing martial art, and some other wholesome activities have become an act of worship. I simply know God is there with me while I am doing the activities.

But of course, I still see a lot of rooms for improvement. For example, God is prompting me to start a habit of blessing and praying before I am going to meet people.

When I remember to do that, I can sense differences in the people. There would be more laughter, more harmony, and more understanding among us.

99% of the time when I come before God and kneel down before Him to do my “official” devotion, He speaks to me. Whereas, in the first few years after I began daily devotion, I often felt a distant from God… (Before daily devotion, I didn’t care, so distant wasn’t problem)

I was doing the talk most of the time. Sometime I felt that He wasn’t in good term with me, but I didn’t know exactly why.

Now I listen and obey a lot more. Listen-and-obey is the key to the difference in my relationship with God between now and then.

Fasting by itself did not give me all of the above benefits. But it did remove major barriers that once stood between God and I.

How does fasting remove barriers between you and God?

• Cleanses your body, increase energy and focus for spiritual discipline such as prayers and meditation
• Remove chemicals from regular diets that can dull the senses, which increases alertness and awareness.
• Remove stimulants that interrupt your emotions, so you can experience real emotions that give you clues to what’s going on inside
• Proper fasting include confession and repentance, which makes you sensitive to sin and offenses against others and God
• New awareness allows you to see your weaknesses clearly, which makes you humble
• Fasting is an act of obedience, if you do it because the Holy Spirit ask you to

What did I experience during the 40 days Fast?

• Coldness. It was summer in Canada. The air conditioning indoor was almost unbearable. I never felt warm or hot during the whole fast, even in the hottest days.
• Hunger pangs in the first few days, not a serious problems. The sense of hunger had almost evaded me a week later.
• Even now I rarely feel hungry. I can feel hungry, but not as much as before the big fast.
• I played an intense basketball game on the 14th day. I was a split second slower than my usual. Nothing else.
• Transitioning from sitting or kneeling position to standing position require more time or I would feel dizzy
• My sleep hours per night had reduced to 4 hours after 1 week into the fast (New energy and alertness)
• I did not go back to 8 hours of sleep until a few weeks after the fast
• My weight had dropped from 155 lbs to 129lbs the entire time
• Someone reported that I turned meek during the fast (Pure emotions instead of chemical/stimulant induced emotions)
• My physical strength had reduced, but I was still relatively strong and still beat my peers in arm wrestle (My body was burning the fats, but proteins left untouched)

What did I gain spiritually from regular fasting?

• Because of new awareness, focus, and more pure emotion, I discovered the gift of composing songs for God. People loved my songs
• I became more sensitive to God’s voice
• My discernment improved
• I became more sensitive to sin
• Experienced breakthroughs in ministries. I started to have “promotions” every few months
• My influences in the University had increased
• Enjoyed clean conscience
• Spiritual insights came much more frequently as alertness and focus increased
• Suddenly I had more friends
• Read a lot more Christian literature and understood them so much more than before
• I had deeper focus on obedience and listening to God
• Activated some dormant skills and spiritual gifts, such as leading bible studies, public speaking, leaderships, and evangelism

What gave me strength and motivation to fast?

My sources of strength were the gentle consolations and guidance that were coming consistently from God over the years. He had also given me encouragements through His people.

When I was in primary school, a teacher who was a godly lady had shared with us kids many Christian testimonies, bible stories, and spiritual guidance such as how to pray. One time she told us how a young girl received complete healing to her shortsightedness after a 7 days fast.

I had remembered that story and years later I tried to do my own 7 days fast.

After I started to go to church in grade 9, I met some people who were practicing fasting regularly. They gave me some advice based on personal experiences.

When I did the 7 days fast 11 years ago, I didn’t even get what I prayed for.

I prayed for complete healing for shortsightedness, floaters, and astigmatism of my eyes, and for my family to believe in Christ.

To this day they still haven’t believed, but my eyes haven’t got worse.

But last year I found the causes to my eyes’ problems: Stress was the cause for my shortsightedness and astigmatism, and artificial favors in the food such as sugar and MSG were the major causes of floaters in my eyes.

I also found some exercises for the eyes that were said to be able to recover my eyes from shortsightedness and astigmatism. I will try them and let you know the results.

God cared more about curing the root causes than giving me quick fixes.

Often time He didn’t answer my prayer the way I wanted, nor in the timing I wanted.

There were no extraordinary miracles, audible voices, dreams, and not even straight answers to my prayers.

What have kept me going was the ordinary people God had sent my way such as the primary school teacher, the small booklet about fasting, and His own gentle, still, small voice.

My accountability partner during my 40 days big fast

²⁸And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him…Romans 8:28

In early 2004, I sensed that God had been prompting me to do a long fast. In May 2004, I returned from my home town to the University and this gave me the freedom to do the fast, without my parents supervising my meals.

I told them I was doing it, and they were fine with it. My dad even commended me for being “healthy”! This made me thought of this bible verse:

The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the LORD; He turns it wherever He wishes. Proverbs 21:1

If it wasn’t God who changed their heart, they wouldn’t be so open about it. Today, my dad won’t let me miss a single meal.

A Christian friend in the University was also going to do a 40 days fast! We decided to do it together. It was no coincident!

We read a couple of books on the topic, one of them was “Celebration of Discipline” by Richard Foster. One of the chapters talk about fasting.

Together, we finished the big fast. We had prayed together, encouraged one another, and exchanged tips. We became best friends since.

Another helper sent by God…

One time, during the 40 days fast, I felt very weak, so I went to buy a few watermelons. I wasn’t able to carry them all. I remember I ran into a Christian friend on the way, or I called him before or after I bought the melons, and he helped me out.

He was a great friend. A few years later, when I campaigned for an executive office of the student union in my school, he was one of the crucial factors to my success.

How do you know if you should do it?

You should do it if you sense that God has been giving you hints through sermons, friends, books, and any other source.

Don’t wait for extraordinary sign. Fasting is a regular spiritual discipline. You should think of it as doing physical exercises for health.

You may not sense immediate changes. But spiritual discipline is no quick fix. It’s like the rising sun: sometime the sky has turned bright before you notice it.

God will make a way for you if He ask you to do something.