This movie is quite real to me. Afterall, it is based on a true story.

I rarely see a movie that shows what love of God is in such a real way. When you have a real testimony, no one can argue with that.

I think this movie also proves one thing—God wants to prosper his people. If you are trapped in a cycle of proverty, it is very hard to get out. This movie truly shows that proverty isn’t a blessing, and if you want to help the poor, you have to be blessed yourself, unless you can perform miracles like the apostles do. I myself believe that proverty is mainly a mindset. A mindset of proverty wouldn’t allow God’s blessing to come in. Prosperity is also a mindset. If you want to prosper, you need to hang out with prosperous people, who can show you how they live and how they do thing.

Michael was blessed with these things, when he was found by the Tuohy’s family.

Poverty, addiction, abuses, and immorality tend to come together. When you have one, it is easy to have the others. Michael Oher knew these ingredients well, as he was born out of wedlock, taken by child protection service, and tossed from foster home to foster home. People he saw everyday were gangs and drug users. He ran away from foster home all the time, until he found his dad’s friend, who helped him enrolled into a Christian school. Most kids in that school are from the good side of the town, well-to-do families, and they are mostly white.

This huge 17 years old found himself in a environment that he didn’t seem to fit well in. He was again homeless when the man who took care of him had to let him go, because the wife wouldn’t let him stay. They were black too. So in this real story the black wouldn’t help the black. It’s very politically incorrect, but if it’s based on true story then I like it. Again no one can accuse anything since it did happen.

Michael had very bad academic record from the past, and classroom learning was foreign to him. In time, however, one by one the teachers saw potential in Michael, and at the same time, a Christian lady, Leigh Anne Tuohy, found out about the situation of Michael, and offered him to stay at her home for a night. Let me tell you Michael was already huge at age 17, but she let him in, and her own children were small and tender, with her own daughter being an attractive teenage girl. Her husband was also small compared with Michael. Without knowing much about Michael, this was an act of courage and selfless love.

I found it rare that a boy with his past was so mellow. He was not aggressive to anyone. It would take a lot to get him angry. This made the story possible. I don’t think anyone would let him into the home if he was violent.

Soon, the Leigh’s family gradually warmed up to Michael, as he stayed longer, and they finally adopted him. This time Michael didn’t run, as he could feel that they genuinely loved him.

Michael knew nothing about this upper class living, and the family knew nothing about the world that Michael came from. They bought Michael a truck as a present! I think this is really a foreign concept to those of us who are not so prosperous/generous. Leigh never even stepped into the poor side of the town before, until she met Michael and had to bring him back there to run a few errands.

They did everything they could to help Michael get up on his feets, and more. Michael inherited the family’s athletic spirit, and became an athlete. He was born with a body that was advantagous for playing football, but without help from the family, he couldn’t have made it.

Can you see what I am trying to say? This family didn’t just provide for Michael, but they converted him into their way of living. To escape from poverty, it takes a village. A poor village will raise kids with poor mindset, but a rich village… Make sense?

At the end of the movie, it was shown that many kids who are like Michael were not so fortunate. The narration asked the question—would their life be as tragic if some people would find and love them?

Not all rich people are good, but this family was blessed and prompted by God to help Michael.

The Tuohy couple wrote a book, “In a Heartbeat: Sharing the Power of Cheerful Giving”, and the title is very telling.

To this day, God still blesses his people materialistically, just like he did to Abraham and other characters from the Old Testament.

This isn’t exactly a surprise, because I have already been suspecting it for 3 weeks. It is a hard to diagnose disease. Before I knew I had it, I had got so used to it that I thought I was normal my whole life, and I thought everyone had the same struggle because everyone complained about not being focused and what not, until I read about ADHD and wondered why I seemed to have all the symptoms.

No wonder life has been a struggle. I thought I was just not trying hard enough. I also had difficulties in almost all area of my life. I seldom have it easy for anything. Now I learned that this was because of ADHD.

I am implusive, intense, stressful, slow, fast, talkative, hyper, often fatigue, hyper-sensitive, easily distracted, random, extremely comical, easily addicted, weird…

From time to time people would give me hints like they would say I was weird, but no one explained what they meant by that. I always pester my friends, brother, pet, and sometime people I barely acquainted. When no people are watching, I would do impromtu dance. My thoughts are all over the place, and one thought breeds several more, and so on. Then I get exhausted in the middle of the day, and have to take a nap. After the nap, I would fidget again. (now it became so obvious. How did I manage to believe I was normal?)

Life is stressful, as I feel out of control often. I struggle to focus and stay on top of things, but I seldom succeed. I would get addicted to manga, Youtube, and other pointless entertainment for days, and then kick myself back to become focused again. When I do become focused, I would lose it in the following days, and have to try to get back up again.

God, why? Why tell me now, not earlier? I am already 30 years old. I got abused all my life because people mistaken my symtoms as my personality. I kept praying and praying but it never go away. I felt like I was being played by you because you never seem to listen to my prayers, and you only let me know what was going on so late.

When you have ADHD, you are painfully aware of things going down. You are aware of time passing by, slowly. You see what’s happening, but no matter how hard you try you just can’t focus. You procrastinate. It’s hard to start tasks, stay on tasks, and finish up tasks. You have difficulty all the way through. Years after years, the sense of unfulfillment and guilt accumulate. It becomes more and more depressing as you suffer more failures as you grow old, and it becomes so depressing than suicidal thoughts become a growing problem.

It’s spiritual abuse when you are so confused about what’s going on, and people kept accusing you of being lazy, unmotivated, and a bad Christian example. Satan often whispers in my ears telling me I am a failure and it’s too late. The depressive thoughts can go on and on and nothing seems to be able to stop them. They are so convincing that you think it’s hopeless. It forces me to reciting Bible verses to counter them, which is the only good thing that came out of it.

Okay, enough of the negative. I will post more articles and videos of my relationship with ADHD. Probably more videos than articles as this blog focus on everything Christian, not just a type of illness. This is a big experiement. I will use natural diets and detoxification to cure it. I will also focus on getting it healed by faith.

Since I have ADHD, which makes me sound childish and comical in real life, I should become a comedian. I have always been a funny person, but I avoid using any humor on this blog to maintain professionalism. I have always wanted to become a comedian but I was waiting for the day when I become financially stable. I guess that day will never come if I kept hiding my true talents. (ADHD isn’t a gift though. It never is.) I was too reserved, too careful, too conventional, too restrained… I was never courageous enough to totally embrace my true passion.

The main reason why I haven’t really started doing comedy was because I didn’t want to show my face. I thought about doing Youtube comedy video but I didn’t like being in a video, because I felt I couldn’t do it without heavy editing (now realized it was ADHD) and I thought I have to perform it tightly scripted.

Recently I have an aha moment. Having watched Youtube for so long, I finally decide to make my own videos. I decide to just let my ADHD show in the videos—no more forcing myself to act normal and all that. Just be my comical self and talk about God that way on Youtube! Because of this illness I have lost everything—well maybe I never had much, and my successes have always been short-lived. When you have lost everything, you have nothing to lose, and “it’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything” (Fight Club).

Did I tell you I just got a janitor job? Next month I might get hired for a security guard job. I am overqualified for a janitor position because I have an honor math decree in Actuarial science (actuary stuff) and some employment history, but I never have a chance to get into my field because I kept failing my professional exams. I have a big gap in my employment history now so I wonder what decent job position I can get. I have truly lost everything (no money, minimum wages, no girlfriend, can’t afford a small pet)… except this blog

You can check if you possibly have ADHD by taking online screening test: Extensive Test, Standard Test, and ADHD forum to see if they sound like you

This year I have also read of many supernatural experiences, first and foremost the Christians  experiences such as angelic encounters, supernatural dreams and visions, answered prayers, and miracles. The experiences I read are not confined to those of Christians only, but including the ones from the agnostic and atheists. Supernatural experiences are vast and common these days. Maybe it has always been the case since the beginning of human history. I read most of them from the experienceproject.com, a site which many people posted their stories of all kinds. It is one of the few social networking site that I found to be more fun.

It is not a religious or spiritual themed site. Anyone can post any type of personal stories there. It is eyes opening to see so many people from all walks of life have had paranormal experiences.

Paranormal is normal.

Our official Western culture denies it, but the reality is that almost every other person has (at least) a real paranormal story to tell. Many people recongized that there were supernatural entities, whether they recongized their true identities as demons, angels, or God. To insist that our world only has a materialistic side despite vast amount of anecdotal evidence, and countless loopholes in many so called studies that try to debunks the paranormal.

The videos series on real paranormal activities I mentioned earlier heavy. These are very terrifying clips. If you think your level of faith hasn’t reached to the point where you are ready for spiritual battles, I would suggest you to not watch it just yet, but to seek a real Penticostal churches, or deliverance ministry to equip yourself for battles. There is no escape from our divine duty as a warrior of God in this life. Whether you like to confront them or not, the enemies are there. They are everywhere, doing harms to us ongoingly. They want to keep their presence hidden so that their evil work would go on unopposed. I want more of us to know these things, and join the battles. Any church that doesn’t have a focus on real spiritual warfare is disillusional and useless.

See the Youtube videos series, Real Ghost Videos

There are still too many people who are trying to deny the need for angelic ministry, divine dreams, and visions. They argue that we already have the complete Bible to follow, so we don’t need supernatural dreams and visions. For the reasons I am going to share, I don’t agree with the anti-supernatural stance.

Many Christians are afraid to talk about demons, although the reality of demons are very real. Almost every other person on earth has experienced demonic nightmares or other paranormal experiences before. The paranormal activities are so common, in fact, that any serious and honest scientific study actually proves them instead of debunking them. How much longer can we deny the existence of supernatural evil and suffer the consequences of such denial? We need angelic help for this time more than ever. For example, the Halloween is tomorrow, and informed people know that the Satanists and Luciferians abduct people for human sacrifices on the Halloween. On the other hand, there are quite a few reports that angels intervened and kept cult victims alive until they got out of the cult. Can we finally open our eyes and see the world as it is? i.e. Darkness vs Light

The world is hardly as boring as we think it is.

I feel that the Lord is leading me toward writing and researching more about the supernatural. Divine dreams and visions can give us life changing experience. They can help us break out of our shells. We as humans tend to be set in our ways. We love our traditions more than the truth, but almost every institutional Christian I talk to deny that, until I pointed out the difference between their churches and the churches in the Bible.

Even apostle Peter was part of non-Israelite, non-Jews discrimination until God told him through a dream that salvation was for everyone (Acts 11). It was already written in the Old Testament that God wanted to bless everyone, not just the Israelites, but human tradition of the Jew refused to accept that. They had the Bible to tell them the truth, but it was not until God giving Peter that dream that he started to change his mind.

Folks, we are a supernatural people, but we are so powerful that we can prevent the supernatural from appearing if we want to, by our negative faith and unwillingness to invite God and the angels to intervene with our life. We can make ourselves forget the dreams the night before, and in fact, many people do forget prophetic dreams, because in general we forget dreams. We can make our church a un-supernatural church through the lack of faith, and denial of anything supernatural. It’s like one of those characters in superhero movies and TV shows who have the supernatural power to supress/muffle the powers of others.

We need more than ever than before to embrace a go big or go home attitude. The truth is exciting. The sad reality is deceptive, boring, and mediocre. Which one do you want to choose?

How many more death can we prevent if we as people of God start having more supernatural foresights and stay away from dangers? How many more souls we can save if we allow God to direct us whom to talk to each day and present the Gospel to them? Our ministries will be much more fruitful than ever if we invite God and his angels to participate.

What about you? Have you ever had a supernatural experiences? Miracle? Dreams? Visions? Out of body experience? Angelic visitation? Feel free to write about any incident of you receiving divine help from God, or spiritual attacks from Satan and demons.

When you fast, do not overeat prior or after the fast, because you will gain more weight than without fasting if you overeat after fast.

I know you can preach up a storm behind a pulpit, but we need you to pass the tests in real life. If you cannot overcome your own addiction to food and laziness, how can we trust you to teach us spiritual things?

You are getting paid for talking. You talk to the sheeps, and you talk the talk on Sunday, and talking mostly what you do, and yet you get paid for it. Plenty of people are way busier than you, but they keep themselves healthy and youthful.

Yes, we know that how stressful it seems to be a pastor, but you are also the problem when you cannot give us insights and revelation that are REAL!

How much time we’d wasted with pastors who can’t even overcome his belly. How many wrong paths we’d travelled because we’d listened to their empty sermons!

You explained why Christians these don’t perform miracles like the first century Christians did. You explained away the lack of prophecies and spiritual gifts in today’s churches. What can you say about your belly? How do you explain away your lack of discipline this time?

To the Christian congregations with pastors who are obviously too spiritual powerless to prove themselves to be real servants of God:

When will you acknowledge what you see? It is so obvious. The problems are there all along. Maybe the emperor has no cloth.

When will you start taking the Bible literally, and build the churches according to the Bible, instead of hiring a middle-man who only have empty knowledges, paper credentials, and not a ounce of divine evidence to show for his position?

You can feel normal when you are really stressed, because a stressful state can become an ongoing state for so long that you don’t know what normal feels like anymore.

This was what I’d been going through.

I didn’t see the big picture of what was going on until I’d gathered enough pieces of the puzzles throughout the years. I didn’t know I was over-stressed most of the time. I carried the stress in everything I do. I mistakened my learning difficulties as incompetence, and lack of focus and energy as laziness. The truth was that the way I grew up came with a lot of negative conditioning, and as a result, many things would trigger a stressful state (along with flashbacks of negative memories). It sapped my strength constantly. I had to figure out what was wrong often times, which further took away my focus from the present, and thus reinforced my condition.

I didn’t realize how often I held my breath. This was harmful to my health. For example, when I tried to do my study, it would bring back many associated memories that came from previous conditioning that I did to myself and from others when I was little. Effectively, it became a repeated punishment. I get punished for trying to study! It brought back memories of academic failures, and the negative feeling I experienced at different points of my academic career. Had I not found out the solution to that, I would either be lazy and give up, or continue to suffer for trying to do the right thing, and still don’t know why I am so distracted and unmotivated.

Anyone can be trained to loath certain tasks if he is punished enough for doing those tasks. This could happen when one experienced bad parenting, or other traumatic childhood events, or traumas during even adulthood. A negative environment can punish a child repeatedly for doing the right things, and when a child received enough punishments for doing certain things, he will forever have trouble with those particular activities, until he gets appropriate intervention to reverse the negative conditioning.

You don’t have to be an abuse victim to be a sufferer of bad stress. We all live in a world of suffering.We all have experienced different degree of traumas, or stresses from many different sources. Say, you get bullied by boss, and the memory can affect your performance at work, whether you realize it or not. Or say, you’d tried to work out financial problems with your spouse but it gets nasty everytime, and eventually you avoid doing budget.

You don’t have to realize or remember what made you so stressful to get that stressful state “activated”. It’s like dog training. If a dog is punished by bark collar for barking, eventually it stops barking. It’s the same with humans. We can be trained to loath certain activities if we are repeatedly punished by negative consequences. And oftentimes the memories that created those pyschological triggers of stresses are buried in our subconscious. We often don’t consciously realize what is happening when something trigger our stress and fear.

Negative thinking does the same thing to us. Say you want to travel to a far place, and being a pessimistic person you can’t help but imagine how things would get in the way and you won’t make it there. That negative imagination is actually a punishment. It’s often subtle. You don’t realize you are doing it to yourself unless you are trained to recognize and unlearn fears, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, or that you read an article such as this one.

This explains why emotional or verbal abuses creates mental illness in the victim. Our mind is so complicated, yet so easy to be manipulated. If we get punished for whatever we do, then soon enough we will suck at whatever we do. The internalized fear will hold us back from performing at our best. It petrifies us as we subconsiously expect our punishment to come. The oppressive feeling—the dread of something bad might happen again, is what stress is about.

Stress Explains Addictions

Addictions are often simply ways that we use to medicate our pains. Stress is pain. When our stress is out of control, and we don’t deal with it appropriately, it soon becomes overloaded, and we tend to get addictions to medicate or relieve our stress. Or it might be something traumatic in the past that keeps haunting you, and that recurring pains will keep creating stress in your life until you collapse.

I find that I am less prone to addictions when I spend quality time to relieve my stress. It indicates that there is latent stress in my system that is continously bugging me. It means I don’t have a structure in place to keep my stress level low enough, and that I have to consciously think of something to deal with it.

I also find that I would have to spend so much time on stress relief if I don’t consciously manage my stress level when I work, or I will fall for my addictions again. However, one can spend only so much quality time to relieve stress outside of work. We can’t spend too much time on stress relief that we neglect our work. The thing is, vacation and rest can only do so much if your working style is “stress based”. We have to find way to relax during work, not just off work.

What I mean by “stress based”? Many people use stress as motivation. We got used to stress so much that we legitimized it. We actually feel guilty if we are too relaxed. It doesn’t feel like work anymore if it can actually entertain us and make us happy. It feels unproductive to be so at ease with our work.

Perhaps one of the reasons for this mentality was that we grew up with punishment based education. We get yelled at, grounded, or beaten when we don’t meet the imposed standard of the system. Perhaps we witnessed the hardship our parents went through as they worked so hard to bring bread to the table. Such conditioning make us associate pains with work. Eventually, we become our own slave-drivers. We have internalized pains and stresses so much that it becomes natural for us to reinforce them with our minds.

The Less Stress the Better

I realize that stress is not a strength. We have to convert it into something else, or simply reduce it to a harmless level. Instead of fueling our stress with negative thinking and words, try to imagine good things that bring us peace, and say life giving words that nourish and heal. The joy of our Lord is strength. In my future post, I will talk about stress management, and why some therapies techniques that are proven to be useful are in line with biblical teaching. (Proverbs 10:21; Proverbs 16:24; Philippians 4:8; Nehemiah 8:10)

When I apply those simple techniques, I get great result. I have more energy, waste less time, more focus, more motivation, and my mind is no longer blank when I study. See, stress will make things more difficult by impeding your abilities. We can’t reach our full potential when we are under stress. The less stress the better.

Stress Manifest In Our Physical Body

Stress can manifest into different forms of mental and physical illnesses. For example, stress hormones overrides sleep hormones. It makes you sleepless, and somehow it leads to obesity because the less you sleep the more you get hungry and craving for sugar. And obesity alone leads to many illnesses.

Stress makes us resistant to insulin, which also causes obesity, and other diseases such as cancer, high blood pressure, diabetes, dementia, depression, and so on.

All in all, stress causes accelerated aging and diseases. To learn more, you may go to drhyman.com and search for related articles on stress. Dr. Hyman is the only doctor I trust.

The Surefire Way to Measure Your Stress Level

The best way to avoid normalcy bias is to get a machine to measure your stress level. I have done some researches and the user reviews for those machines were great. They provide biofeedback to help you regulate your breathing, and even your imagination, to keep stress away.

When you are in a stressful state, the machine will tell you that and guide you to breath and calm down. A lot of people didn’t know how to breath or relax, but they didn’t realize it, until they started using the machines. Here is a sample of their reviews:

The first thing that I wanted to know was whether it accurately reflected my mental state, which I doubted it would. So I’ve tried thinking about something stressful at random times during periods when I was otherwise relaxed (3 cubes) and it gives me 1 cube pretty much every time. 1 cube definitely feels worse than 3 cubes. I’ve repeated this many times over and I don’t doubt now that it can tell if I’ve gone from a relaxing state of mind to a stressful one. I can also tell now, based on how I feel, when I will get 1 cube vs. 3. This has turned out to be useful information because I can make myself feel relaxed without having to use the device, so I think the biofeedback component is really useful – it has helped me train myself to relax. It’s a bit like a relaxation coach. I still can’t get as relaxed on my own as I can using it, but maybe in time I’ll be able to.

To see more reviews on those biofeedback machines, go here.

I don’t have the budget to get one yet, so in the meantime I will just make do by doing self-taught breathing exercises. Still, I find that I have to do it so often. I find out how often I hold my breath and tighten my muscles.

The key is to believe that you really did forgive after you made that decision.

Forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily make us forget the pains, nor does it 100% prevent us from reliving the experience, though it is part of the healing. This is why it is so hard to believe that we really have forgiven the people who hurt us.

If I can forgive, I believe most people also can. Let me explains.

I Can’t Help But Have to Relive Hurtful Experiences Many Times

If not for God, I would be living with a full blown Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to my childhood. I am not going to share the details for now, but I want to tell you that even with my walk with God, the way my brain works is still different than those who grew up with a relatively unthreatening childhood. I had a hard time focusing on anything without reliving unpleasant memory, and intrusive thoughts that are upsetting. My conditions have a lot to do with many years of conditioning. For example, if you get repeatedly punished under certain circumstance, that circumstance will trigger a state of fear every time you find yourself in it.

When you are in a state of fear, you would have a hard time focusing, and thus couldn’t function well. For me, I have a lot of triggers because I got repeatedly punished for things big or small. Before I recognized my condition for what it is, I often kept trying to overcome it with more fears and self-punishment. I kept pushing myself to change and to be on par with other people. Sometimes, this appoarch only gives me self-fulfilling prophecies—the more I feed my fears, the more they become real.

For many years, I didn’t realize that they are symtoms of CPTSD, but during my many years of search for answers to my struggles, I have identified many symptoms that I recently came to understand as part of the CPTSD. They sabotaged my relationship, health, spirituality, career, finance, success, and so much of everything in my life. Many times I had to take long walks to cool down my thoughts. People don’t know why I am always alone, and am always thinking. I am always compelled by a strong, persistent need to think about my past, and to ask a lot of questions to many things in my life, especially the failures/disappointments. I have a hard time of letting things go.

I have decided many time to let go of my past, and for periods of times I was successful, but sometimes my condition would come back. Let me explain.

The Arhitecture of My Brain

It turns out that a child who had trauma or fears often enough would have a very different brain arhitecture comparing with a healthy child. Stress hormones surpass the growth of certain brain cells and promote emotional memory. It makes the child retaining emotional memory better. That brain would find it hard to distinguish what is threatening or what not (any emotional or hurtful experience would be perceived as threatening to my brain). It significantly surpass the learning ability of the child.

To me, it means that everything negative that people say or do to me tend to stick in my mind for a long time. My brain cannot distinguish and prioritize these experiences easily. It will relieve the experiences obsessively over and over again until I can find a satisfying closure to them. However, new hurtful experience will trigger the old ones, and the old ones in turns trigger the older ones. I have to find new closures to my experiences when new ones triggers the old ones.

This Trains Me to Forgive

If normal people experience some small hurts, they would forget or ignore them much easier. They would have to forgive just one or two times, or they would totally forget about it before it even gets under their nerves. For me, I often have to forgive everytime I relieve the experiences.

Not only that, since we have to live with the consequences of what other people did to us, we may from time to time discover that the extent of the damages are more than we thought initially. For example, when I discovered what I had to live with was in fact CPTSD, this new finding wound me in many new ways. I realize that the degree of hurts and handicap I have to endure is much deeper than I thought. I have to re-affirm my previous decisions to forgive my abusers, who gave me this long term struggle that has tormented me for so long.

While I did forgive them for hurting me then, I didn’t prepare to face so many negative consequences that I had been constantly discovering afterward. Each time I discovered a new collateral damage (sometimes the Holy Spirit brought that piece of memory to my mind to explain something to me), I have to re-forgive again.

Trauma Begets Trauma

An abuse victim tends to attract new abusers into his or her life. There are a lot of explanation to this, but this is a fact for sure. I can testify this in my own life. Thank God, because of His grace, I would say this is much less a problem than it could be, but I still have this struggle. I wish I am immune to bullies and abusers, but as of writing I still feel like an abusers magnet!

Attracting abusers is only one way of begetting new trauma. There are also other factors that make a victim’s life very difficult. This is like the rich gets richer and the poor and poorer. Sufferers of abuses are prone to addictions, financial struggles, illnesses, crimes, and other manifestations of trauma. They tend to reinforce and feed upon each other to create a living hell for the sufferers. For example, I have major struggle with focus in workplace, and when I was employed I constantly worried about getting fired. The anixety only made me even less functional in the workplace. Financial and career struggle wound my self-esteem continuously, make me doubt God, and make me financially dependent on others (who could be my abusers).

It is getting better because at least I now understand what caused my career and financial struggle, as well as other struggles, and knowing is a major key to healing. I am looking into Cognitive behavioral therapy, with the help of God, to unlearn my fear and anxiety.

So How to Forgive

I believe each time we discover something new about an emotional wound inflicted by someone, we should forgive. It takes faith, not feeling. If we wait for the right feeling before we forgive, it would be too late. This world is full of trauma and wickedness, so if we wait for the right feeling, there will probably be many more new wounds before the right feeling ever arrives.

Wounds that aren’t healed will fester. They will produce bitterness and curses. The unforgiving person will eventually become the same as the perpetuators who hurt him, because the bonds between the abusers and the victims will shape and mold the victims, unless the victims undo the bonds by forgiveness.

When you decide to forgive someone, believe that it is done. You may use some rituals to help convince yourself of that. You may say, “In the name of Jesus Christ, I forgive *name* for doing *details* to me”. I find it more assuring to clearly outline what and whom I forgive for.

Sometimes, the person who hurts us will be around for a long time. Forgiveness isn’t pardon. We can avoid that person to prevent him for hurting us more, take legal actions if necessary, and cry out to God to deliver us from our enemies if they are hard to get rid of.

It used to take repeated effort for me to make certain that I have forgiven someone. I might have to relive the hurtful experience against my will from time to time, but I make it very clear to myself, to God, and to Satan that I already forgave and the hurtful feeling is just a feeling. In my earlier years, I used to doubt if I was being bitter, but after many years of practice, I learn to distinguish between bitterness, and natural feeling that comes with memory. I am not God. I cannot make myself forget certain things at will, but when I forgive, it usually turns out that the memory doesn’t hurt as bad in the long run.

~~~~~~~~

Forgiveness is the beginning of healing and blessing. If we don’t forgive, God won’t forgive us (Matthew 6:14-16). If we live without God, we are the same as the sinners who hurt us. We will do something equally bad, if not worst, to people like what they did to us. Unforgiveness puts us on the same ground as our worst offenders.

It is only the first step. The healing process can be long and painful, especially for those who have lived through major or prolonged trauma, so let the healing start as soon as possible.

Let us all forgive. Unforgiveness is probably one of the biggest reason why people fail to make it into heaven. If you are a born again Christian, make sure you don’t let any unrepented sin, including unforgiveness, to hinder you in your walk with God.

God bless you and one day we will meet in heaven.

When I read the testimonies of these people, I always want to actually see what they have seen, but most of them don’t have the ability to draw.

In my last post, I wrote about Akiane, a prodigy painter who painted pieces of heaven and other spiritually inspired images. When I looked at her paintings, I was in awe. They touched my heart.

Last night, I watched a Youtube video about a Korean girl who was brought to heaven and hell after an all night prayer meeting. The pictures in these paintings were consistent with the testimonies in the book, Baptize By Blazing Fire, which is also written by Koreans.

One thing that I hesitated about her drawing was that Jesus appeared with long hair in her paintings.

1 Corinthians 11:14

Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him,

Akiane’s Jesus had shorter hair, and he had brown eyes. I don’t think Jesus was long haired with blue eyes.

There are a million ways to protect ourselves against the onslaught of toxic attacks, and compensate for the lack of nutrients in our foods, but to avoid troubles and excessive mental gymnastic I think it would be wise to stick with a few effective solutions that eliminate the majority of the attacks on our health.

Thank God I have eventually come down to simple means that take cares of the majority of the causes of diseases and disorder, and one of which is liquid multiple vitamins and minerals.

Why liquid? because it’s convenient. Who wants to take a dozen of pills each day? Also, in liquid form it is much more absorptable for the body. High quality liquid mulit-vitamins and minerals solution should be bioactive and pure. Many vitamins and minerals in the markets are low quality, chemically synthesized, impure, and unabsorptable for the human body. They produce expensive urines for sure, but the health benefits are nil.

Honest science enabled me to discover that almost every disease and disorder come from vitamins and mineral deficiency, or heavy metal poisoning, or both. Dishonest science is based on the bottomline of the big pharma, big foods, and big farm companies. They have filled deceptions in every space available. Many people have made wrong decisions for their health because of the disinformation.

“You can trace every sickness, every disease and every ailment to a mineral deficiency.”

Dr. Linus Pauling, two-time Nobel Prize winner

For examples, mercury overload in the body can cause autism, diabetes, depressions, heart-diseases, cancer, and more. The lack of vitamins and minerals to strengthen our immune system, and protect us from oxidation, toxins, and free radicals, will lead to slow down of metabolism, organ failures, aging, bone loss, hair loss, weight gain, mental fog, chronic depression, inflammation, cancer, fungus growth, excessive appetite, addiction, headaches, joint-pains, and so on. ( see Mark Hyman, M.D. ‘s website for more information on the interconnection between vitamins & minerals deficiency and common diseases)

On the other hand, people who are smart enough to take liquid multi vitamins and minerals reported renewed energy, sharpened mind, less pains, disappearance of allergies, and many more. (Their testimonies can be found here)

It might sound too good to be true, but it makes sense, because God didn’t create our bodies to malfunction randomly. There is always a reason behind a symptom. Conventional medicine doesn’t aim to heal the root problem of symptoms, but aim to suppress them. Read treatment should target the causes, not the symptoms.

Two weeks ago I finally reached the level of clarity that allowed me to see this truth! I had walked pass the health store in the neighborhood many times, but I had never thought of that. That day, about 2 weeks ago, I finally bought a bottle of liquid multi vit and min from the store.

It only requires 1 teaspoon per day for an adult, and the taste is delicious. It might not be the best brand, but I could do with it for now. That product was the best I could find from the store. It claims to have no preservative, addictive, starch, or whatever. It was more expensive than the ones without such claims, so I figured that must be the reason for the premium price.

I will see how I do for the following month, and let you guys know how I do.

Psalm 103: 2-5

² Praise the LORD, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
³ who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

God can supernaturally heal us and protect us from all the toxins in our water, foods, and environments, and He also gives us “good things” so our youth is renewed! I think He must be talking about antioxidants. It is well researched antioxidants keep us young and healthy.

May the Lord bless you all.

Every illness and disorder happens for a reason. If we believe in everything the Bible says, then the root cause of any disease cannot be genetic, because everything God created was good originally. According to new studies, environmental toxins, nutrients, stress, foods, and other factors such as relationship, can change our genes! Our genes don’t just randomly malfunction. The number of diabetes has drastically increased since 1980s, so it has to be something other than the genes that cause the diabetes epidemic. (See diabetes gene )

The factors that contribute to the diabetes condition are interconnected. Imbalance in one major area of our health may increase the vulnerability of another area as well. For example, stress can induce stress hormones, which interfere with the sleep hormones, and deprivation of sleep will increase hunger, and so on. There is a chain effect to everything that happens to our body.

Science has confirmed many things the Bible teaches, and newer findings will only agree with it more, but ulimately, everything is spiritual. Some people do reverse their diabetes by finding the right supplement, dietary improvement, and natural treatments, but some people can never reach a full recovery no matter how hard they try. They run into experts that give them the wrong advice all the time. The reason for that is spiritual.

This is why we must pray with faith for full recovery from any disease. The single most important factor for healing is faith. When you have faith, the way you talk and think will help the treatment so much. The stronger the faith the faster the result comes. If you doubts a lot and are very negative, even the best doctors would somehow fail to help you, because our thinking and words can bring life or death, and they are the most important forces that determine our fates.

During the course of healing the disease, whether it is you or your loved one who needs healing, you have to be unrelentingly positive in faith. I am providing Bible verses on healing below. You will find that everything will change as you meditate, pray over, verbalize, and affirm these verses. Live them and breathe them everyday. Do not concern yourself with what you see or feel, but keep on believing, and you will see gradual healing to the addictions, genes, or other causes to the diabetes conditions. After that, I will also go deeper into the specific biological causes, and specific actions that you can practically take to reverse diabetes.

Knowing the specific biological causes to the disease might help some people as they make lifestyle changes to reverse the root problems, but many people can’t because there are addictions and circumstances beyond their control that keep them sick. There are also many deceptions in the medical and health industry that keep people confused and sick. One must be spiritually strong to stick with the truth and take continuous actions toward healing, and this is why prayers and God’s words are so important.

Scriptural Passages for Healing Diabetes

Proverbs 17:22

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Being relaxed and happy are probably some of the most important things you can do for healing. God wants us to be joyful. When we do, healing takes place. Stress and diabetes are linked. Stress hormones (cortisol) can make you fat, depressed, sleepless, and spike up your blood sugar. It is important to learn how to relax, which the worldly system rarely allows people to do. If you have negative relationship, work environment, and other things that may cause you stress, you have to make decision to either improve them or to cut them off, otherwise you will suffer health issues.

Psalm 103

³ who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

It is God’s nature to heal. He is full of love and compassion. God doesn’t play game with us. Many teachers attribute sickness and disease to God, saying that there must be something good that God wants to teach us through them. Almost all sicknesses and diseases happen because of evil, such as malnourishment and toxins. God doesn’t create these problems, but Satan does. If we don’t have a biblical view for God, we block His healing power from flowing into our bodies.

God created foods to bring us healing. Many natural foods have rich vitamins and minerals. Foods are information. Good foods change our genes positively, while bad foods turns on negative genes. Good foods are rich in antioxidant that can reduce cancer risk, lower cholesterol, balance blood sugar, and improve insulin function.

Unfortunately, we are being surrounded by foods-like-substance, or polluted foods, instead of naturally good foods. Genetic engineered foods and processed foods can bring harms to our bodies in so many ways. Some foods are even radioactive! They can cause cancer. Mercury, leads, fluoride, MSG, apartime, and many other toxins can be found in processed foods. Anything that comes with a label that you don’t understand, you should keep away from it. Environmental toxin is in fact one of the major factors that causes many diseases. They can damage the brain, inflamme the body, increase stress, cause weight gain, accelerate aging, and so on. Diabetes is just one of the diseases that toxins can cause.

Not all cases of diabetes are caused by toxins. Each person is different, but detoxification of the body will bring a holistic effect for the whole body, which helps to improve other areas of the system overall.

Proverbs 3:7-8

⁷Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

⁸It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.

Proverbs 4:20-22

²⁰My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings.

²¹Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart.

²²For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.

God’s words bring healing to our whole being on the mental, spiritual, and biological level. The scripture passage that helps to heal us doesn’t have to be talking about healing. Each and every part of the Bible contains precious lessons, blessing, or promises, that can calm our mind and restructure our life, and they give us supernatural power and strategies to handle daily challenges. No matter what a specific Bible verse talks about, it would somehow benefit our whole being in one way or another, and more.

Isaiah 53:5

⁵But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

Divine healing is a done deal. It is written in past tense. We must believe in His words to manifest this promise. We don’t need to seek God’s will for our sickness. His will is always to heal. In fact, He considered us to be healed. We just need to exercise our faith to claim it. Knowing that, we must talk and think in a way that express our faith in this truth.

Next, we will go to physcial part of our healing by doing dietary changes, exercise, and detoxification.

Supplements and Detoxification

Almost all sicknesses and diseases are caused by malnurishment, or toxins. However, conventional doctors are not trained to heal with supplements and detoxification. Conventional medical training only teach them how to butcher, and administer drugs for different symptoms, but they can never cure anything, because they are not supposed to. Conventional drugs are usually meant to be taken for life.

It is important to watch against the Medical Industrial Complex. To know why they will never cure any disease, just follow the money. It is not profitable to cure. They can ask for more money for research if a disease has no cure yet. It is in their financial interest to keep the status quo, so they can continue to farm the patients for money until they die, or until they cannot afford medical expense anymore.

Dr. Hyman is one of the most honest doctors I have ever seen, and he is very competent too. In his “The Diabesity Prescription” report, he freely gives away many insightful information on how to detect the real causes of diabetes for each patient, and the right treatments to the person in terms of supplements, detoxification, exercises, and other lifestyle improvements. He has successfully reversed diabetes in many of his patients before. You can be the next person! With the power of God, you can heal even without external help (divine healing), but some of you may need a gradual process to complete recovery. If you think it is going to take time, Dr. Hyman should be the second person to go to (next to God). You will learn a lot of great insights about health in his website. His articles are not boring at all, and you will feel it, because truth is empowering. Trust me.

I encourage you to go to drhyman.com for the free “Diabesity Prescription” report to learn about some of the best information on Diabetes, and how to reverse it. Once you arrive at the site, just type “The Diabesity Prescription” in the search box for the said page.

For those who have type 1 diabetes, don’t give up hopes. I believe God can facilitate healing in your cases. For children who were found to have type 1 diabetes not long ago, there are still time to naturally reverse it. It is usually toxins such as mercury, from vaccinations, or other sources, that induces an autoimmune response in the body that attacks the insulin-production cells. Detox the child from heavy metal as soon as possible, and healing should take place.

For useful information of heavy metal cleansing, go here. For mercury cleansing, go here. Dr. Hyman also have a lot of useful information on detoxification, and you will find the info from his website.